Merry Christmas, Stephanie Plum
by polysgirl
Summary: Stephanie is feeling blue, as the christmas season approaches. It seems she might be spending christmas alone. But will she? Join Stephanie as tries to find her Christmas cheer. I promise you won't be disappointed in the end :
1. Chapter 1

A Christmas fic. I already know the end. Is it babe? Perhaps. Perhaps not. I won' tell ;-)

Standard Disclaimer: Own nothing, lay claim to nothing, making money from…you got it…NOTHING. But I'm having fun all the same.

Merry Christmas, Stephanie Plum.

Chapter 1

I hunched against the wind as I ducked out of the bonds office and rushed to my car. Thank god for command starts. Cold weather sucks. So does December. The first of December is the first day of the month that houses Christmas. And I'm not sure how I feel about christmas, just now. The bonds office was already decorated for christmas, and being in it made my stomach queazy. Lula had Tank, and she was already planning how they were going to spend Christmas day. Connie had great plans. Even Vinnie had plans. And the christmas music was sickening. I ducked into my car and threw the files I had just snagged in a grab-and-dash and pulled away. I was officially going to be spending as little time as possible in the bonds office. I really didn't feel like being subjected to christmas cheer if I could help it.

Christmas Cheer be damned. I walked in on my now ex-husband playing hide the salami with Joyce Barnhardt in the middle of the season of Christmas Cheerfulness. Joe Morelli relieved me of my Virginity at the Tasty Pastry one snowy december night. And Once again, I was going to be alone for Christmas. Christmas sucked.

I mean, I would spend it with my family - my nieces screaming, well, Mary-Alice would be whinnying, Val and Albert cooing to each other, Grandma would be antagonizing my dad and he'd be wishing for a gun. I'm never too sure if he wants to use it on himself or on Grandma, though. Christmas in the asylum, really. And my mother would want to know why Joe wasn't there, and lament how I'd lost my last chance at marriage, at a normal life. And I would be inadequate once again. Yup, Merry Christmas to me. Already, I was dreading it.

Joe and I had finally called it quits in September or so. It was what you'd call an amicable split. Joe couldn't handle my job, and I couldn't handle the ultimatums. But for the first time, it didn't result in a screaming match. Just a dull feeling that maybe, maybe we were two people trying to be one, but never really managing to merge completely. The hardest part was that I do love him, and he loves me. It's just not the forever-kind. Or, at least, not the forever-in-matrimony kind. We both had agreed that we didn't want to lose the other in our lives, and so managed to agree to stay friends pretty well instantly. Truth was, sex was the one thing we did well together all the time. Without it, we really didn't co-inhabit well. We did, however, do the friends thing well. Every single thursday without fail, since we agreed to go our own ways relationship wise, we got together at his house for Pizza, Beer, and the Rangers game. Sometimes we did it one other weeknight too. And we'd had numerous long, late night phone calls, just to chat. Well, not so much anymore, because now Joe has Elaine.

It's funny, because there was a time when thinking of Joe with anyone else made my stomach queasy. I hated the idea. A week and a half after we split up, a skip threw a plate at me and it sliced the side of my forehead, leaving a huge gash. Joe was the first cop on scene and he took one look at me gushing blood, swore, and hauled my ass into an ambulance. The ambulance was a Joe-imposed trip to the ER, while he cleaned up the mess I left behind and got me my body receipt for my skip. And the intern who stitched me up caught my attention. Her name was Elaine, and she loved her job in the ER. We chitchatted while she injected my head with local anesthetic - that hurt like a bitch - and forged an instant friendship while she stuck a needle through my skin eighteen times, stitching me up. She remarked that the cut was barely above my temple. That was scary. By the time I was stitched up, cleaned up, and ready to be sent home, I had been visited by a strong realization: Elaine was perfect for Joe.

I already knew she was single, from our long chat and instant friendship. So I did what any good ex-girlfriend now-turned friend would do: I hooked them up.

And I was right. Did they ever hit it off. I introduced them that night when Joe came to pick me up and take me to my apartment - Carl brought my car home for me - and they both kind of skirted around each other a bit, acting shy and distant. But later Joe asked me something about her, during one of our phone calls. And I managed to find out Elaine's lunch schedules, and then coordinate a lunch with Joe at the same time as lunch with Elaine. I happily had the three of us sitting at a table at Pino's, a rather different love triangle than what I was used to. And then Lula called me, ever-so-conveniently, requiring my emergency assistance dissuading Joyce from murdering Melvin. Or Melvin from peeing his pants because of Joyce. Something like that. It went just as planned, and I waltzed out of there right after we had all ordered, and Joe and Elaine were left to have lunch by themselves.

The funniest part was, the thought of Elaine in Joe's bed didn't bother me at all. It actually made me feel warm, and cozy. Especially as their friendship grew and they seemed so enchanted by one another. I didn't even feel jealous when Elaine became part of our thursday night routine. And they would invite me over for supper sometimes. And they even threw me a nice little birthday party. Every girl should have a friend as wonderful as Joe.

Every now and then we still had our late night calls. One night I'd had a particularly rough night, and I phoned him at 11:30 and wound up talking to him, and Elaine, and then wound up going over there. We stayed up until 5 am, like college kids, and were all exhausted at work the next day. It was a comfortable routine. And Joe and Elaine couldn't have been more perfect for each other. I was just happy to be able to claim a part in helping them find their match.

Now if only I could find mine.

Joe has asked me twice now, since we broke it off, if I was going to pursue a relationship with Ranger. Ricardo Carlos Manoso, bad-ass bounty hunter and owner of a highly-reputed and very successful security business called Rangeman. I always shrugged, which always led to Joe pointing out that he could see plain as day how we looked at each other, and then telling me that I needed to quit being so hardheaded and approach him. I guess since he is so happy with Elaine, he wants to find a way to make sure I'm happy too. Two problems with the Ranger idea, though: One - He's currently out of town. He left back at the end of July, and was originally due back in the middle of October, but went in the wind. Tank finally heard from him last week and he said he was hoping to be home by the 10th of January. And Two: His life didn't lend itself to relationships. Which is really just a fancy way of saying he doesn't do relationships, doesn't want the commitment.

And so it's December first, Christmas music is playing across Trenton, and I, Stephanie Plum, am going to be alone at Christmas. Have a Holly Jolly Good Cheerin' Season indeed. Christmas can go to hell. And melt all the snow and heat the city while it's at it.


	2. Chapter 2

Fluff, filler, and weirdness. Mostly J/S. It really is just filler, and it's a little bit stupid, but hopefully amusing enough to keep everyone entertained.

As always, I own nothing (well, except the plot, and I'm not so sure I want to lay claim to that!) and since Ranger's in the wind, I can't even attempt to batnap him this time L

**Chapter 2**

I rushed past a Salvation Army guy requesting donations "in the christmas spirit." Christmas spirit my ass. Twenty feet in front of my FTA was running for all he was worth. I went through a brief second where I really thought that maybe I should get in shape, wouldn't it make this part of the job easier? Dick Onastic was one nasty son of a bitch, and I saw the glint of a gun under his shirt at the small of his back. Shit. As I ran, I reached into my purse, digging around for my stun gun. Probably the best way to get the sonofabitch without getting hurt would be to turn him into an unconscious puddle. All I had to do was catch up to him.

Of course, catching up to a skip requires one to stay on their feet, which I did not do very well. As I was running and rooting, I managed to very unceremoniously slide on a patch of ice, and I went sprawling, landing flat on my back on the cement sidewalk. I cracked the back of my head on the slippery surface, and learned what it really meant when people said they saw stars. "You'll get worse, Stephanie Plum." My FTA hollored out as I landed.

My first reaction was to instantly get up and keep after Sticky-Dick. But I got no further than sitting up before I learned this valuable lesson about stars, and threw up all over the sidewalk, and myself. I hated this time of year. I hated Christmas, I hated Ice, and I hated Winter. I staggered to my feet as someone came running towards, me shouting protests.

"No, No, I'm fine." I told the woman, who was repeatedly telling me "not to get up." I had to admit, she had a point, I was pretty damned dizzy. But I had to get that asshole. I struggled to stand and was shoved back down to the ground. I sighed, resigned. Probably he was long gone anyhow. The woman had a hand on my shoulder and she was hollering for a cell phone, but the street was pretty empty. I tried to shove her hand away. "I'm fine. Really. Here, my cell phone is in my pocket. Feel free." I said, not really realizing why she wanted one. I was too busy wondering why water was dripping down my head.

Had I realized she was going to dial 911, I probably wouldn't have given it to her.

Instead, within minutes of my fall, sirens were screaming and making my head pulse. An unmarked car I recognized very well came screaming to a stop before the sirens got there.

"Shit. Cupcake. I heard the call and I knew it was you. You ok?" Joe asked, kneeling beside me looking concerned. He reached to touch my head and stopped. "Shit. That could be bad. We'd better call Elaine." he rambled, pulling his phone out.

"Joe." I put my hand on his arm and he looked at me. "Just let me up and get me home. I'm getting wet."

"Wet?"

"Yeah. I must have landed in water and it's dripping down the back of my shirt."

"Cupcake. That's blood. You split the back of your skull." Joe looked really worried. "You need to get to a hospital."

Oh god. "No ambulances. Please." I said, as the paramedics jumped down and rushed towards me. A black SUV pulled up and parked, and Tank got out, striding over quickly. He took one look at the back of my head and swore. I guess that means it's pretty bad.

"Merry Fucking Christmas." I growled. The lady who had stopped me from getting up reeled back.

"Don't mind her." Joe said. "She's not in her right mind."

"Asshole." I told him, then bit my lip and tried to stay conscious when the paramedics touched my head. "I hate Christmas. I hate merriment. I hate being alone, and I HATE FTA's."

"Cupcake, you need-" Joe sighed.

"Nuh Uh." I interrupted. "Don't say it. I tried that. It didn't work. Remember? No Ambulances." I snarled, pulling away from the paramedic when he went to help her stand.

"Deal with the paperwork, I'll drive her in." Joe told them. He redirected his attention towards me again, and I stared into his eyes. Tenderness, love, and concern stared back. "Cupcake, I hate to tell you this, but as your friend, I'm going to. You need to get some training. You need to get better backup, all the time. And you need a better set of footwear if you're going to run on the ice."

"Don't you mean I need a new job?"

"No, you're right. You tried that. It didn't work. Since the job isn't negotiable, I'm telling you that you need help getting better."

"I'm a magnet for disaster."

"You are." Joe grinned, then leaned down and wrapped an arm around me. "Come on. Lets get you to the hospital. Maybe Elaine will have an idea on how we can de-magnetize you."

I hate hospitals. I really, truly do. Thank God for Elaine, who forced her way in and dealt with my head herself. Unfortunately, regardless of the bedside manner of the medical person assisting you, freezing injections in the skull hurt like nothing I've ever felt before. As Elaine injected the freezing, my vision swam and my stomach flipped. I lurched sideways and threw up all over Morelli.

I stared over the side of the bed at Morelli's shoes, covered in yellow and red liquid. Gross. I splattered his stomach, legs, all of him. He was dripping.

"Cupcake." he sighed. Slowly I raised my eyes to his face, taking in his appearance. I couldn't help but cringe.

"I think it's safe to say that we have a much more personal relationship than you and Elaine." I said, and my voice sounded weak even to my ears. Elaine chuckled behind me.

"I think I'd rather my relationship with Elaine stay a bit more distant than this." Joe said wryly.

"Ranger says I never disappoint." I said.

"I'd imagine he'd find this hilarious, then?" Elaine asked. I thought about that. Probably, he would. Joe's hands came to my shoulders and he helped me settle back on my stomach on the bed. Elaine handed him a bedpan, just in case. And I closed my eyes and begged for death as she shaved my hair and put twenty-three stitches in the back of my head.

"This is seriously abnormal." I grumbled an hour or so later in Joe's shower. I'd been released into his and Elaine's care, otherwise they would have made me stay overnight for observation due to the concussion. Instead, Elaine told them I'd be sleeping in Joe's guest room and she would take care of me. Problem is, Elaine had to work for another four hours, and neither Joe nor I could deal with the smell of blood and vomit anymore. And I couldn't get rid of the blood without help. Hell, I couldn't stand up with help, and Joe didn't own a bathtub. The solution to this little problem involved Joe and I naked, together, in the shower. Currently, I was propped up against the wall, trying hard not to slide down it, while Joe carefully washed my hair, keeping the water away from my freshly-done row of stitches.

"Yeah." he said, and I saw him glance downward. "Normally the boys would have been screaming by now."

"I'm HURT!" I glared as best I could, which wasn't very good with my head spinning at mach seven.

"Doesn't matter. Used to be you always had the boys screaming." Joe pointed out.

"I sincerely hope that they only scream for Elaine now." I told him.

"That's about it."

"She won't be mad about this?" Joe was massaging my scalp gently, and it did feel good, until he got to the worst of my head. I moaned a little and leaned heavier against the wall when he hit a tender spot.

"Sorry Cupcake. No, she won't be mad. But normally this would be Ranger's job now. I'll have to let him know he's shirking already." He said. I wanted to keep talking, to set him straight about Ranger, but it suddenly took way too much effort. Joe wound up washing me completely while I tried not to pass out, then he set me outside of the shower, wrapped me in a towel, and sat me on the toilet while he cleaned himself. I leaned my head against the counter and tried not to pass out.

I was losing the battle when he climbed out and got us dried, dressed, and then downstairs. He settled me on the couch with a pillow, making sure the back of my head wasn't hurting extra from pressure, and then sprawled in a chair. Bob crashed at his feet.

"This is such a weird situation. Normally a girlfriend would be mad when her boyfriend is this close to another girl." I mumbled.

"Yeah, Cupcake, but nothing about you is ever normal." Joe pointed out. We were silent for a bit and then he laughed. "God. And our menage a trois will become four when Ranger gets back, huh? I can't imagine what it'll be like to have him here too Thursday nights."

"Never gonna happen." I mumbled. "He doesn't do idle visits." I didn't have to see Joe roll his eyes to know they were matching the rhythm of a bowling ball. He didn't say anything, though, only chuckled and then lapsed into silence. I was glad; my head was pounding. I needed a nap. I fought sleep for a little while, and then finally gave up.

"I didn't get any Christmas shopping done today." I sighed. "I really wish we could fast-forward to January. Or maybe June." And then I passed out.


	3. Chapter 3

As always, I am borrowing JE's characters and will give them all back. Still working on bat-napping Ranger for my own nefarious uses, though J

**Chapter 3**

"Any word from Ranger?" I asked Tank as I got into the passenger side of the Bronco, and sighed as he gave me a barely noticeable headshake. He was helping me get my skips today. I was pretty much on an enforced "don't go to work without backup" routine until my head healed. It had been a week since my accident and I was finally back to work. Kind of. I spent the first four nights at Joe and Elaine's, being woken up regularly by one or the other of them. Elaine thought the shower situation was funny. She did remark that in any other relationship she'd have a problem with it, but with my weird life, anything goes. I grinned, but didn't laugh. Laughing would have hurt my head at that point.

I guess there is truth that my life is just plain screwed up though. That's why, when I moved back into my apartment yesterday and saw the dead flowers outside my door, I just sighed and hucked them in the trash. I did read the note first, of course, but all it said was Merry Christmas. Probably I should have phoned Joe, or Tank, but really, what was the point.

I thought about that for a minute and started to wonder if I was getting depressed. Maybe a little, I decided, but I was going to blame in on the season.

First stop on our list was Mooner. Again. We pulled up to the apartment and Tank was going to let me go in alone. I looked at him. "You really want to sit out here for two hours?" Tank raised an eyebrow. "It's Mooner." I told him. "This is a bit different." Tank got out, silently, and beeped the bronco locked. We went up and I knocked on the apartment door.

I heard footsteps, and Mooner's voice. The door opened. "Dudette! Just in time for I Dream of Jeannie! Five more episodes in the marathon!" Mooner exclaimed. He looked at Tank, and grinned. "Dude! Hurry! Commercial's almost over." he said. He grabbed us each by an arm and pulled us in. He sat us on the couch and flopped back down. We watched two and a half hours of Jeannie and The Captain, during which Tank gave me three long suffering looks that promised retribution. Oh boy. I don't think I like that idea, coming from Tank. Mooner and Dougie chattered excitedly during commercials, but the television reigned the rest of the time. The marathon ended and Mooner got up, chattering happily about Jeannie all the away to the station.

Connie met us there and bonded him out. "Gotta hurry Gotta hurry." Mooner said, dragging us back towards the Bronco. "The Star Trek marathon starts in twenty minutes!"

"Star Trek?" Tank spoke up, his voice laced with interest. Shit. I was in for it now.

We got back to Mooner's just in time, and Tank insisted we go in. He didn't have to say anything to insist, just shut the car off and get out. Yeah, I got the picture. Mooner was ecstatic to have our company for Star Trek. We all sat down again, and this time Tank got right into things. I sat through Six hours. SIX. HOURS. Of Star Trek ala Mooner & Dougie & Tank. This means that on top of the show on television, the three men were verbally following along and enacting every. single. scene. Tank even purred with the Tribbles during Trouble With Tribbles. I just sat in stunned silence.

About halfway through the marathon, Tank got the munchies. By this I mean that we, well, mostly the three of them but I did help out a bit, had exhausted the boys' potato chip supply, and were now needing fresh junk food. During a commercial break, Tank got up and made a call. Ten minutes later, the door bell rang. Tank got up and came back with two boxes filled with bags and buckets. Huh. Cluck-In-A-Bucket delivers. Who'da thought. I guess when you're one of Ranger's Merry Men, though, there's not much anyone won't do.

"Hey!" Mooner exclaimed digging through one box. "They even sent sporks for the cole slaw!" Tank grabbed an entire bucket of chicken for himself. I snagged a wing out of it and he gave me the evil eye. I batted my eyelashes innocently back, and shot my hand back into his bucket to come out with a breast. Satisfied, I turned back to the television and chewed on my wing, ignoring their constant babble. These men could even speak the dialogue while they ate. Yeesh.

It was after eight when we were finally in the Bronco again, our our way to my apartment. "I can't BELIEVE." I groused. "I take you to help with my FTA's. And we bring in ONE. ONE FTA. And spend 90 of the day watching television with him."

"Not my fault you went in during I Dream of Jeannie." Tank shrugged.

"Star Trek. Tank. We could have gone after Ima Slugger and then I'd have RENT MONEY. But no. You sit and watch SIX Star Trek episodes with them. And recite them WORD FOR WORD."

"I watch Star Wars too." Tank offered.

"I suppose you go to the conventions and play dress up as well." I rolled my eyes.

"Chewbacca." Tank said. Oh shit, I really didn't need to know that about him. Now I'm forever going to have visions of Tank dressed in a furry bear suit every time I see him. I shook my head and huffed a breath. I stared out the window in silence the rest of the trip home.

Tank came up with me when we got to my building. I didn't bother trying to talk him out of it, I knew from experience there was no use. We took the elevator up to my apartment and said hi to Mrs. Bestler, who was playing elevator operator again. "Second Floor, Children's toys and ladies underwear. Red velvet panties with white pompoms." She said, pushing the button for us. Tank choked, and covered it with a cough. I thought about slapping him on the back as hard as I could, but I was still scared of him, so I didn't do it. I just grinned cheerfully to myself, and made a mental note to get Mrs. Bestler and extra-special christmas gift this year.

Tank secured my apartment and I gave him a sarcastic finger wave as he left. I noticed before shutting my door that he took the stairs back down. Chicken. Not that I'd ever tell him that. I sighed. I stuck my head in the fridge and found nothing that struck my fancy. Pulling a tub of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey out of the freezer, I grabbed a spoon and a couple of cheerios for Rex. I went over to the living room and flopped on my couch before digging in. I guess as Today goes, it wasn't a bad day. It was another unproductive day, but it was less physically painful than the last week had been as my head slowly recovered, and I didn't get covered in garbage, shot at, run over, hit, tripped, stabbed, bit, or verbally abused. I suffered through Star Trek, sure, but I found out some great blackmail material about Tank. I finished off the iced cream, dropped the spoon in the sink and the container in the trash, then went to bed. I was asleep in minutes.

I woke to a huge crash, and my bed shaking. My smoke alarm instantly started going off and I leapt out of bed, throwing on my robe. I rushed to the living room and was met with a blast of cold air. My entire living room wall was...Gone. I stared out the hole where the wall had been, looking down into the parking lot. I probably spent five minutes just staring before I realized that I was an target for whatever psycho did it, just standing there, and I ducked out of the way and went to my phone. Fire trucks and cops were already pulling into the parking lot. I dialed Tank.

Eddie and Big Dog showed up in the apartment. The firemen were next, and Robin Russell and her partner. No Joe. I figured I'd better call him, so I did. It was a brief conversation, that ended with Joe offering me the guest room if I wanted. I told him I'd call him back if I needed to take him up on that. Tank drove up seconds later and in no time he was in the apartment. He glanced at me and nodded, and then was instantly in conversation with the police. Figures. I picked up Rex's cage and then sat on the floor with it in my lap, my back pressed against the counter.

I must have zoned out for a while. I was jerked back to reality by Tank, lifting me to my feet by one arm. He took Rex from me. "Get what you need." I nodded and went and packed a bag. I came back out and dropped it by the door, then looked at Tank.

"I'm not entirely sure where I'm going." I told him.

"Your parents?"

"God, please no." I shuddered. Just the thought of the morning fight for the bathroom made my eye twitch. I put my finger to it for a minute.

"Ranger's?" Tank asked.

"Do you think he'd mind?"

Tank just looked at me. Well, what the hell, I thought. I'd broken into his apartment before, and tried to hide it from Tank. That was before I knew that Big Brother saw everything in the Rangeman building, and NOTHING gets past Tank. And Ranger didn't even throw me out the window when he got home. So I guess it was safe to say I wouldn't be risking death if I moved in. Again.

"Okay. Rangers." I told him. Tank nodded.

We were halfway to Rangeman when I thought of something. "Is there an appartment on the fourth floor I could use?" I asked.

"Nope." Tank shook his head.

Damn. That would have been a bit more comforting than risking Ranger walking in in the middle of the night. Then again, he wasn't due back until almost the middle of freaking January. And the 4th floor apartments didn't have his sheets, or shower gel.

"Hey." I had another fragmented thought, as we pulled into the underground parking. "Ranger go to those conventions with you?"

"He has a thing for black capes." Tank told me, as we got out of the car.

"Darth Vader?!" I squeaked. Tank looked at me and raised an eyebrow. Omigod.

Tank came up to the seventh floor with me and handed me Ranger's truck keys. I unlocked the door and walked into the apartment, then turned to look back at Tank. "Thanks." I told him. He nodded and left. I was too tired and worn out to do anything more than drop my bag on the floor by the bed, and fall into it. I rolled onto my stomach and sighed. Fifteen days left until Christmas. And I had no home, no love life, and hadn't even come close to starting my christmas shopping. I forced back the tears that threatened, and resolutely demanded sleep. I breathed Ranger's scent in the pillows, and sighed. Maybe, if I was really lucky, I would wake up and find Christmas over. That would be really, really great.

A thank you is in order for Stayce, too, whose mind collaborated with mine to dream up a lot of the Star Trek/Star Wars stuff. And some ideas that will show up in future chapters. J I think you're my muse, at the moment J lol


	4. Chapter 4

Short, but I liked where it ended. I was going to have Steph finally get to shopping in this chapter, but it got put off once again J Meh, she'll Christmas shop eventually. Maybe.

J

As always, I am borrowing characters off of the wonderful JE, and have yet to manage to bat-nap Ranger (not even sure where he is, at the moment)

**Chapter 4**

"I wonder if it had anything to do with the flowers." I mused to Tank the next day. We were on our way to pick up Ima Slugger, and then we were going to try and track Onastic before Tank promised to take me christmas shopping. Thank god. As much as I was hating Christmas, my family would never forgive me if I didn't get presents.

Tank glanced over at me. "What flowers?"

Oh. Right. I hadn't told him about them. So I explained about the flowers I'd found two days before, and how I'd thrown them out. I told him about the note that just said "Merry Christmas." I told him how I didn't think it was a big deal, flowers don't really sound like a psycho thing to do. I didn't bother to mention that really, anyone who knew me well enough to give me flowers would have known I was at Joe's and sent them there. That seemed like an inconsequential thing to worry about. Besides, I knew Tank was already thinking it.

"You should have told me about the flowers."

"Sorry, Ranger." I said sarcastically. Tank sighed. "Well cripes, you even sound like him." I told him. I had grown a lot more comfortable with Tank in the last five months. It's not that I wasn't still scared of him, it's just that, with Ranger gone, I dealt with Tank first and the rest of the Merry Men second, instead of Ranger first, Tank second, and, well, so on and so forth. So I had a lot more time to get comfortable with Tank.

Slugger was fairly easy to bring in, She took one look at Tank and fainted. Yeesh, they just don't make criminal minds like they used to, I guess. Of course, Tank was grinning menacingly at the time, half laughing at me for almost falling over my own two feet - he had to grab me by the back of the shirt to keep me upright - and half wanting to threaten Ima to make her drop the gun she answered the door with. The gun wasn't the only thing that dropped, she hit the ground with a pretty good thunk herself.

I cuffed her, and Tank hauled her into the back of the Bronco. She came to about halfway to the police station and started screaming bloody murder about kidnapping and how we'd live to regret this. Apparently she had friends in high places who would make sure we spent a long time in jail. Funny that they didn't help keep her out of jail in the first place, huh? I turned around and enlightened her to the journey.

"Ima Slugger, My name is Stephanie Plum and I represent Vincent Plum Bail Bonds. You missed your court date so we're taking you in to reschedule." I told her, yelling at a decibel that hurt my head to be heard over her. She just kept on shrieking like a banshee. I rubbed my head, she was making it pound again. Tank reached for my purse.

"Hey." I told him, and snatched it away. He stopped at a light and looked at me. I knew he was trying to tell me something, but couldn't figure out what. I stared back at him with a blank look on my face. He nodded to my purse, and looked at me again. I shrugged. Tank sighed, and mimed a gun. Nope. I shook my head. In the cookie jar on Ranger's sideboard. Yes, I brought my cookie jar to Ranger's. Home wasn't home without a cookie Jar, and Ranger's may not be home, but it was my home away from home, until he came home and kicked me out.

Tank sighed, then mimed the gun again, poked himself, and rolled his eyes up. Ok, I knew that one. I think. Maybe I was supposed to. He wanted me to shoot her? I just told him, the gun isn't here. I shrugged at him.

Tank rolled his eyes and shook his head, and then snagged my purse. He plunked it on his lap and rooted through it while driving. I watched as he pulled my stun gun out and flicked the switch. It charged, and he reached back in one smooth motion and stunned the ghoul in the back seat. The silence was blessed.

"I should have known that one." I told him. I think my brain was shut down from all of her screaming. She was giving me a headache that rivaled my concussion.

"The concussion's a week old." he told me.

"Still there." I shot back. Wait a minute. I didn't say that out loud. I glared at Tank, and he just raised an eyebrow. We got Slugger to the station and unloaded, just as she was coming out of the stun. I warned the guy who took her about her over-active vocal chords, picked up my body receipt, and we left. We were going to go comb Stark Street for Onastic, but first I decided we should probably stop by my parent's place to appease my mom's mind before she ironed a hole in the wall. Tank sighed, but steered the Bronco towards the Burg.

"Thanks, buddy." I told him.

Tank just shook his head. "Ranger doesn't pay me enough." He muttered under his breath.

No sooner did the Bronco pull up at the curb than Grandma was bouncing out onto the deck, anxious to find out what "hottie" I brought with me today. Ranger would probably be very glad he is currently in some god-forsaken country, when he finds out about this visit. I could see the gleam in Grandma's eye clear across the street, and it wasn't a good sign.

"Hey Hot Stuff! Who're you?" She asked before we were even on the steps.

"Grandma, this is Tank. He's one of Ranger's men." I told her. Grandma was vibrating with excitement as we all walked into the house. I knew what that meant. She had some sort of questions up her sleeve. I grabbed her arm. "Be good." I warned. She grinned at me. Not good.

We headed into the kitchen. I felt Tank tense beside me and he stepped sideways into me. I glanced at Grandma. She was snatching her hand back, grinning like a fool. Oh god. Grandma had copped a feel. "Sorry." I muttered to Tank. Pretty sure he's going to decide that there isn't such thing as enough money to put up with this. Probably he was right. But that would mean I'd be out a bodyguard until Ranger got back. Probably that was not a good thing after last night.

We made it to the kitchen safely after that, but ran into my mother before Tank and I could even sit down. And mom, true to form, started in right away.

"You could have called last night, made sure we knew you were ok." she started.

"Tank called you." I told her. "I was busy dealing with it."

"Why did someone blow up your apartment? I've been answering the phone all day. Your father unplugged it an hour or so ago because he was fed up. No one would have bombed your apartment if you were still with Joe. How are you going to get married if you aren't with Joe? Come on, help me decorate the tree."

"I don't want-"

"HELP. me. Decorate. The. Tree." she enunciated slowly, and clearly. Tank slouched on the couch, enjoying the show. Jerk. Maybe I should sic Grandma on him again. I sighed and picked up an ornament.

"Look. Joe and I aren't together. We're happier this way." I paused. Well, I wasn't happier. But it wasn't because of Joe. It was because it was Christmas and everyone was happy and merry and I had...nothing. But there was no point in telling her that. It didn't have to do with Joe, either, truly. But mom would never get that. I hung the ornament on the tree and went to grab another. "I got Tank to call because I had to deal with everything." I left out that I was too shaken to really talk. I tossed a few more ornaments on the try with an internal sigh. I really couldn't get into this. Grandma had put Christmas music on and the CD player was blaring "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree." She danced along to it as she decorated, shaking it even harder when she was closest to Tank.

"Hey, Stephanie." Grandma said suddenly. "I was at the mall with Geri Bestler and we saw the neatest Panties in Victoria's Secret. They were red velvet and they had a white pompom right on the -"

"MOTHER!" my mom shouted.

"Want to see? I bought myself a pair." she grinned, eyeing Tank. "They're great, let me go get them."

"NO!" Mom and I yelled together. I didn't want to see these and think of my grandmother wearing them. No way. And I figured I'd better save Tank from that travesty, for fear of really being left to fend for myself.

I sighed and hung another decoration on the tree, ignoring my mom's continuing lecture. I didn't want to be merry, and I didn't want to be decorating and listening to cheerful Christmas music. My little tree was annihilated with my living room wall. And I loved my little tree. It was a cute little real tree. I bought it at the tree lot and it lived in a pot. I named it Spidey and I was going to raise it through winter and then donate it to be planted in the park in the spring. But now Spidey was dead. Essentially cremated, if you want to be technical. Well, blown to bits. Pieces of it could probably be recovered from the rubble in the parking lot but somehow I don't think the city would appreciate that request. Bye Spidey. Rest in peace, little tree.

I suffered through the rest of the decorating process, while mourning the loss of Spidey, then grabbed Tank and made a beeline for the door, hoping to get out before mom could enlist me to help with something else. Grandma followed us to the door, a gleam in her eye.

"So. Tank." Grandma said. Warily, Tank turned and raised an eyebrow, and waited. "I was wondering if it's true what they say about a man's feet and the size of his equipment?"

"Grandma." I hissed. I could feel my face burning. I clicked my heels together but the floor didn't open up to swallow me.

I shoved my feet into the shoes and opened the door. Tank was staring at Grandma with a hint of amusement on his face. I grabbed him and dragged him along with me. "Gotta run! Bye mom!" I yelled as I pulled him out the door.

Tank stopped me, and turned around to close the door. Just before shutting it, he looked at Grandma and winked. "Yes Ma'am."

Head down, I motored across the street to the Bronco. My face was so hot the ends of my hair were curling underneath themselves. Can the Christmas season get any worse???


	5. Chapter 5

Sadly, this is the best this chapter is going to get. It was a hard one to write – mostly because my muse is on hiatus on some tropical island somewhere.

But, to get something out, and in attempt to keep this story going and finish it sometime before Christmas of 2007, I present to you all, chapter 5!

As always, I don't own nothing, it all belongs to the lovely JE (although I suppose I own the plot, which I probably shouldn't be laying claim to lolol), and I am NOT responsible for the bat-napping of Ranger! Well..maybe I am…….

**Chapter 5**

"You may as well drop me off at Rangeman. I'll grab one of Ranger's vehicles and go get some Christmas shopping done." I told Tank. We'd just had a worthless, fruitless afternoon trying to find information about Onastic and his whereabouts. I was pretty sure he was behind my homeless state.

"I'll come with. I've some Christmas shopping to finish up." Tank said. I shrugged, whatever floats his boat. We headed to the mall and Tank parked a lot closer to the entrance than I ever managed to park. The world accommodates Ranger's Merry Men in all things, I guess. We split up at the entrance and I agreed to call Tank when I was done so we could meet up again. Christmas shopping, here I come.

The mall at Christmas is incredible. Tall trees, grown up Spideys, were present all along the halls. And they were decorated to the nines. They were gorgeous. Gold and Silver and Blues and Whites and all sorts of color themes littered the mall, decorations galore. Music played through the intercom system, cheerful Christmas music and Peace on Earth Good Will Towards Men and all that. Normally I loved shopping. Normally I even loved shopping at Christmas. But shopping at Christmas means participating in the Christmas cheer, being merry and happy and in the spirit of things.

My spirit and my Christmas Cheer were sunk somewhere at the bottom of the Atlantic. And they were stuck there. Flitting around the grand ballroom in the depths of the Titanic. Rescue efforts proven unsuccessful. So I really didn't have any desire to be at the mall, shopping. I had an idea, however, of what I wanted to get almost everyone, and had even written a list. So hopefully I could get in, shop, and get out without wasting time.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town was blasting joyfully from the speakers as I hurried off to my first intended stop. It was hard to hurry in the immense crowd, though. Everyone was shopping, and the air was filled with happy chatter. I didn't want to be here anymore than I wanted to be at the Bonds office. Especially with Lula being every-so-merry because it was going to be her first Christmas with Tank. It was all she could talk about. Lucky her.

I was happy for her, really, I thought as I tried to push my way through the crowded halls. It was nice to see her so happy, but hard to not be able to share it. To not be happy, too. Joe was happy, Elaine was happy, Lula and Tank were happy. And I...well...I was the observer watching them all be happy. I flopped onto a bench and sighed. I really was the one sitting back and just watching. I sat for a while and watched the people pass by. I didn't have the desire to try and actually shop. I was hoping that maybe, as I watched people, some of their spirit and enthusiasm would rub off on me.

No dice. It wasn't working. If anything, it was having the opposite effect, especially after I saw one couple. A dark, mocha-skinned man walking with a pretty blonde. His skin tone instantly reminded me of Ranger. The man himself was no Ranger, he was of average height, average build, and average looks. It was just his coloring that caught me off guard. He was in no way an ugly man, but where Ranger was fine, chiseled features, where Ranger's body was artwork in perfection, this man was simply there. He was normal, average. He stood out, yet, he didn't. He was a housecat to Ranger's Panther. Ordinary to exotic. Safe and comfortable to wild and lethal. Still, I did a double take. My heart twisted at the easy affection the two displayed. His arm was looped around her waist, against her opposite hip, holding her to his side. They walked together, deep in discussion. She laughed at something he said, and he pulled her up short, looped his other arm around her neck and pulled her to him for a tender kiss.

I shook my head sharply as my eyes filled with tears. Get a grip, Stephanie, I told myself. I stood and marched myself off to the first store I needed to go into. Might as well get this over and done with.

An hour and a half later I was carrying enough bags that my shoulders were protesting. And I had already called Tank once to drop a load off in the Bronco. The intercoms were emitting a loud and raucous version of Jingle Bell Rock, and most of the shoppers were almost dancing as they walked. I dragged along, the weight of the bags doubled by the weight I felt in my heart.

I was so busy being miserable that I almost passed Victoria's Secret. It's possible the only reason I didn't miss it entirely was because as I walked past the store front, Tank walked out.

"Wha?" I started.

"Lula. Christmas." Tank said. I nodded. Of course.

"I'm going to go in for a bit."

"I'll take those to the Bronco." Tank said, nodding to my bags. I looked at him warily, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Why do I think I won't like that?" I asked. Tank's eyebrow just rose higher. "Seriously. Since when do Ranger's big tough mercenary men pack my shopping bags around?"

"It's the Christmas Season. And I want to get out of here today." Tank told me. Yeesh, ok then. I handed him my armload of bags and flounced into Victoria's Secret. Was it just me or was Tank starting to sound an awful lot like Ranger?

I had found the cutest pair of winter pajamas and was headed to the change rooms to try them on when Elaine walked out of one.

"Stephanie." she said, stepping forward and instantly hugging me. I'm not a particularly huggy person, but I hugged her back anyhow. "Thank God you're ok." she told me. "Where are you staying? You know you can stay with us if you want to - you're more than welcome."

"I'm staying at a friend's apartment." I told her. "He's out of town, so the place is empty anyhow."

"That that Ranger fellow?" Elaine grinned. I scowled. Obviously Joe had been talking about Ranger.

"What'd he say?" I demanded. Elaine just grinned at me. "Elaine..." I waited. No answer.

"Please." I said. "I hate to think..." I sighed. Well, I shouldn't care if Ranger was still a sore spot with Joe, really. We weren't together anymore, afterall. But it bothered me to think that maybe, Joe still resented what he perceived to be a relationship with Ranger, that never really was. I mean, how could it be, when all Ranger was, and self-proclaimed to be, was dessert...when he would never be more than a friend I was attracted to.

"That probably you'd hook up with him, that there was something really sizzling between you guys, and that you softened him, and he protected you." Elaine said quietly.

"There's more." I said flatly. She nodded. "Like how he-"

"Finally realized, after you guys split, that you should go to Ranger. That you made him a better person. That you were more complete around him."

I could feel my eyes tearing over. This wouldn't do. In the middle of V.S., no less. "New subject." I told her.

She looked at me, sympathy obvious, and nodded. "So did you see those red panties?" she asked, steering me towards a table. There were the very velvet panties that the geriatric population of Trenton were a-buzz about. "Can you imagine wearing these? I mean, that pompom on the-"

"Must be terribly uncomfortable." I agreed, and laughed. It felt good to laugh. "My grandmother loves them. She bought herself a pair. One of the old ladies in my apartment building is enchanted by them." I told her, and we both wound up laughing. We perused the store for a little while longer, the pajama's I wanted to try on still hanging over my arm. We were discussing bras when a throat cleared behind me and I looked up and around. Tank was staring down at me, looking rather uncomfortable.

"You almost ready?"

"Haven't even started." I sighed. "Ran into Elaine, we've been..."

"Enjoying yourselves." Tank finished. "I need to get back to the control room."

"Tank is a Rangeman employee. He's responsible for guarding my body." I told Elaine. "And we were out tracing skips before we came to Christmas shop. So he's my ride home." I guessed maybe I should try the pajama's on and get going.

"Why don't I drive you back? Shop with me - it's always more fun with company." Elaine offered. I considered it briefly. I didn't really want to be in the mall anymore, the christmas cheer was sickening. But it had been a while since I'd gotten to chill out and maybe even talk about stuff with a girlfriend. Mary-Lou was entirely too busy with her family, two of the kids had been sick recently, and Lula was too enthralled with Tank to be able to sit and talk seriously lately.

I looked at Tank. "That ok?" He shrugged. "Sorry I made you wait." I told him. He nodded, and was gone.

"Well, it's just us girls." Elaine grinned, and dragged me to another table.

We left Victoria's Secret about a half hour later, and I had bought some new underwear and the cute winter pajama set. I was really looking forward to crawling under Ranger's sheets with them. I smiled to myself. As we walked down the hall, intercom spreading christmas cheer via roasting chestnuts - I wouldn't mind roasting the nuts of whoever wrote that song - we discussed our purposes for being there. Elaine was Christmas shopping, and I was almost done. We pooled notes. I had Mary-Alice and Tank left. And, well, Ranger, I suppose, but since he wasn't due back until the middle of next year, I wasn't too worried about that today.

So we chatted and laughed and the trip was a bit more bearable. Actually, it was fun. I bought a big chew-bone for Bob.. We talked about Joe and the strangeness of our relationship - a different sort of triangle. Elaine re-iterated again that I was welcome to stay with them. I helped her shop for her family, and we stopped at Macy's on our way, and spent an hour in the shoe department. I only bought two pairs.

"I have no idea what to get Joe." Elaine sighed. My first suggestion was tickets to a Rangers game, but that's what I had gotten Joe and Elaine - already stashed safely at Ranger's apartment. I thought for a minute.

"I have no idea what to get Mary-Alice." I said, mostly to buy time while I considered an idea. But I also didn't know what to get Mary-Alice - I mean, what do you get a girl who thinks she's a horse?

"What's she like?" Elaine asked.

"She thinks she's a horse. But she doesn't need more toy horses."

"Hm..." Elaine said. At the same time, I had a great idea for Joe.

"Come on." I told her. "I know what you can get him." I dragged her down the mall until we got to a store that was kind of a jewelry store...but kind of not.

One of the specialties of the store was ornamental knives. Not swords and daggers, but pocketknives with intricate designs. I knew Joe had been eyeing one, specifically. It was a multi-tool, in the shape of a duc. "It might be out of your price-range." I warned Elaine, but steered her to it anyhow. "I just thought it might be worth considering." I pointed it out to her, the knife in question, and then browsed the store. I was thinking maybe I could find something for Tank, a thank you for being so helpful the last few months. He was right, I thought with a sigh, Ranger didn't pay him enough to deal with me and my family.

"Perfect." Elaine said from behind me. "I'll totally get it for him."

"He's been eyeing it for a while." I told her as I examined a penknife with dragons etched along it. I remembered Lula mentioning that Tank had a dragon tattoo, so figured that might be appropriate, and useful. And I could afford it, which was always an added bonus. I continued to browse along as Elaine headed back to acquire, purchase, and wait for gift-wrapping on the knife she was buying Joe.

I was just about to head back and ask the salesperson to get the penknife out of the cabinet so I could buy it, when I spotted it. A gorgeous, ornate multi-tool, similar to the one Joe wanted. It was a simple rectangular shape, though. What caught my eye was the etchings. Batman and Wonder Woman. How odd. "Part of a Justice Heroes collection." The salesperson told me walking over. "The other half sold earlier this week."

I let out a breath. "I'm not interested in the other half. Just that one." I looked at it some more, and glanced at the price. Eep. I did a mental calculation and decided that the credit card could handle it - barely. It was perfect for Ranger - useful, and the design symbolized... our relationship, in a way. He wasn't some comic-book junkie, but the personal connotation made my heart ache, and I knew he'd appreciate it. Or, at least, I hoped he would.

We left that store, my visa feeling empty but my conscience glad that all I had left was Mary-Alice. I'd figure that one out another day. Elaine and I stopped at the food court for supper, before heading out. We chatted some more about everything and nothing, and part of me was glad for it. The easy company felt nice.

Elaine dropped me off outside the Rangeman building and I promised I'd see her the next night for the game. Of course. My few bags in hand, I fished Ranger's keys out of my pocket and keyed the elevator to go to the seventh floor. I remembered that I had a set of keys to his apartment somewhere, maybe at the bottom of my purse. I decided to dig them out later, and return this set to Tank. Maybe even when I went back down to collect my bags from the Bronco.

The elevator opened on the seventh floor and I stepped off, transferring my bags to one hand once again in order to open the apartment door. It swung wide and I stepped in, surprised to see that all of my bags were in the middle of the living room floor. "Tank, you are wonderful." I told the empty room. I would thank him properly in the morning. I added my new bags to the pile, and checked the fridge. Smiling, I closed the door and dialed the sixth floor. "Ella, you're the best." I told her, when she answered.

"Do you need anything, dear?"

"Not at all. I just wanted to thank you." I said as I pulled the scrumptious looking cheesecake Ella left out of the fridge, fork already in hand, and dug in. Ella laughed and disconnected, and I moved to the couch with the best turtle cheesecake I'd ever eaten. I made my way through a third of the cake before putting it back in the fridge for the next day, and the fork in the sink. I dealt with my pile of bags, sorting out what was mine and what was gifts, and putting everything away where it would be out of sight, out of mind, and out of the way. I showered and put my new pajama's on, and went back to the living room. I flipped through the television channels for a while, but it just wasn't doing it for me. I couldn't concentrate on the television. Ranger's apartment felt...empty. Even his presence wasn't here anymore; he'd been gone so long. I sighed. I missed him. I looked out the window and could see the lights of Trenton and Newark dancing along to infinity in the distance. And Ranger wasn't anywhere within them. It was depressing. I really missed him. Christmas wasn't going to be the same when I wasn't waking up in Joe's bed, but it didn't even feel like Christmas without Ranger around.

"Get a grip, Stephanie." I told myself. I had no right or reason to miss him, it's not like we were in a relationship, it's not like he missed me. Hell, when he got home, he'd probably either clear an apartment on the fourth floor, or kick me out completely. Who was I kidding? But I missed him anyhow. I sighed, clicked the television off, checked the door, shut the lights, and crawled into Ranger's bed. I breathed the faintest scent of him in from the pillow, the one I knew he used, and then grabbed one of the extra pillows off the bed. I hugged the extra pillow to my stomach, curling my body around it. I hated how much I missed him, right then. I fell asleep on a wish that I could wake up and have it be the new year, past Christmas and all of the celebration, that Ranger was back in Trenton, and that all of the fuss could just go away, back to everyday life. My last conscious thought was that I couldn't remember a time when I was so lonely, so sad, this close to Christmas.


	6. Chapter 6

Ah, Chapter 6, in which my muse grabbed the rope and ran with it. Unfortunately, she didn't strangle herself. Really, this chapter is entirely NOT of my making.

At least, I'd prefer to claim that.

Warning for language. Otherwise, it's pretty ok. Maybe a bit violent, but nothing major.

Thanks to Stayce for the help filling in my descriptive holes.

As always, I lay claim to none of the characters – all save Elaine belong to the wonderful JE. And I'm not so sure I want to take credit for the plot anymore, either. … Pfft.

**Chapter 6**

I headed down to the control room the next morning intent on dropping Ranger's keys off with Tank. Tank, Bobby, and Lester were all sitting in the coffee room looking worried.

"What's up?" I asked as I walked in. All three men turned towards me and blank faces slid in place. I learned something in the last five months, though - and that is that it's possible to read them by looking at the finest lines of their face. I squinted at them and studied them carefully. Tank raised an eyebrow at me.

"You guys are worried. What's going on?" If they had been in the control room, I probably would have chalked it up to work, but my spidey sense said this was something else.

"Nothing important." Tank told me.

I narrowed my eyes. "Something's happened to Ranger, hasn't it?" I asked. I wanted to sound matter of fact, but to my own ears it came out strangled.

"Steph.."

"Don't Steph me, Tank. Tell me. Has something happened to Ranger?" My heart was clawing it's way up my throat and I swallowed convulsively, repeatedly, to force it back down.

Tank shrugged. I looked to Lester.

"He missed his check-in, Steph. That's all. It's probably nothing."

Bullshit it was nothing. If it was nothing his three main men wouldn't be sitting here looking worried. I fought down panic, panic I wasn't supposed to feel. 'He's only a friend, even if you love him. Don't get carried away.' I told myself. I took a deep breath, and then another.

"When was he supposed to check in?" I finally asked, evenly. The men regarded me silently. "WHEN." Rational and even could go out the window fast and they could deal with raving-shrew-bitch-Stephanie if that's what it took to get information. The men looked at me, and finally Tank sighed.

"3 days ago."

"And you didn't TELL me?!" I shrieked. Tank just looked at me. Oh. Right. I sighed. They never tell me these things. I took a breath, and then another, forcing myself back to calm. "So what now?"

"We wait." Tank said.

"We hope." Bobby added.

"He's disappeared off the grid before. He's always come back." Lester said in a tone meant to reassure me. It didn't really work.

"And did you always worry when he disappeared?"

"Only after you came into the picture." Tank sighed. I narrowed my eyes and left, keys still in hand.

"Jerk." I muttered, on my way to the elevator. Instead of heading out, like I had planned, I went back up to Ranger's apartment. I flopped on the couch and sighed. Ranger was missing. Or, at least, incommunicado. What if... I played with the keys on his truck keychain... I remembered that I was going to give it back to Tank, but I'd forgotten about them after finding out about Ranger. Maybe I won't give them back, afterall. They're Ranger's keys. His personal keys. I fingered them for a bit longer. I thought about Ranger. Ranger, missing. Ranger, my friend, the man I love despite the fact that he is too emotionally distant to ever truly let himself love me back. Ranger, a man I shouldn't need, but do. He'd become my rock, my strongest supporter. I didn't know what I'd do if he didn't come back. I shook my head hard, I couldn't think about this. Not today. Not this month. I wouldn't think about it. Ranger was fine, Ranger WAS coming back. Finally I stood and shoved his keys deep into my pocket. I went into his bedroom, stripping my sweatshirt off as I went, and dug one of his t-shirts out. I pulled the T-shirt over my head and then added my sweater.

Then I left, to go to the Bonds office and see what they had. I figured I'd do my best to find Onastic after that. Get him out of my life so I didn't have to worry about my place of residence being destroyed..for a little while. I ducked into my car and headed out before Tank could realize he'd missed me. I was sure he'd catch up to me later anyhow. And I was definitely stopping at the Tasty-Pastry on the way to the office. There was no way I was getting through today without donuts.

Armed with two-dozen Bostom Cremes, I was waiting at the last light before the bonds office. I intended to bring a dozen donuts in with me, and keep the other dozen to take back to Ranger's apartment. Nickelback's Rockstar was playing on the radio - much better than Christmas music - and I was tapping my finger on the steering wheel in time to the music when the mini's door was wrenched open.

"Not smart, little girl. You should have stayed away from me." Dick Onastic was grinning at me, showing all of his teeth...not that there were many of them to show. His mouth looked like piano keys, but only the black ones.

"I've a better idea." I said sweetly. "Why don't you get in the car and save me the effort of having hunt your ass? I'll even share my donuts." I offered, as I pulled my gun from my belt. I clicked the safety off, pointed it at him and nodded to the back door. Dick-the-stick just raised an eyebrow at me.

"This is another warning. I know you and your big man were looking for me yesterday. He won't be around to protect you all the time. Like now." And he threw something in the backseat of my car, slammed the door, and strode quickly off through the street. The hair on the back of my neck stood straight up. Oh fuck.

I scrambled to undo my seatbelt and threw the door to the car open. As I was leaping out, the car exploded, throwing me through the air. I came to on the sidewalk, and my first thought was that the donuts didn't survive.

My second thought was that Stick-sized-Dick got away...Again. And that I was wheel-less. Again. I pushed myself up off the sidewalk as people milled around. Someone told me to lay still, an ambulance was coming. It was all background noise. I was going to get up, and go to the bonds office. Then Lula and I would go get donuts. Then I'd go back to Rangeman and hide in Ranger's apartment...oh God...if Ranger is gone for good what will happen to Rangeman? And all of the Merry Men? My stomach lurched and I staggered to my feet. My left arm wouldn't cooperate. Hands reached out to push me back down but I brushed past them, staggering across the street and down the sidewalk. I had to get to the bonds office.

An arm snagged me around the waist and I twisted to get out of the person's grasp. "Steph!" Connie said, grabbing me tighter.

"Girl, you look like shit." Lula added from the other side. "Geez, you got blown outta that car so hard I thought you was gonna fly clear to China."

"Cupcake." Joe's voice from behind me. "Are you ok?"

I was having a hard time staying on my feet, everything was spinning and blurring together. Someone kept stabbing me in the arm and it was making my vision blurr. I turned and squinted, trying to bring him into focus. He slipped an arm around my waist and pulled me away from Connie and Lula, and into his arms.

"Geez Cupcake. I think you broke your arm." he said. "Come on. You need to get to the hospital."

"No ambulances." I told him. "What's going to happen to Rangeman?"

"I'll drive you. What do you mean what's going to happen to Rangeman? You blew up your car, it doesn't affect Rangeman."

"Dickonafuckingstick blew up my car, not me." I argued. "What's going to happen to Rangeman?"

"What do you mean?" Joe sounded confused. I was starting to hyperventilate. Why wouldn't he just answer my question? First Tank, now Joe.

"Why won't anyone ANSWER me?" I exploded.

"Cupcake." Joe stopped, turning to look at him, hands on my shoulders, nose against mine. Suddenly he was in focus. "Breathe." he said. I took a breath. And then another. And everything quite spinning and now I was just groggy and dizzy. "What do you mean what's going to happen to Rangeman?"

"If Ranger doesn't come back." My voice sounded small even to myself. "What will happen to Rangeman if Ranger doesn't come back?"

"He'll be back." Joe said, shrugging it off. He spoke to the paramedics for a minute, and Carl and Eddie, and then gently lowered me into the passenger side of his car. I leaned back and closed my eyes and zoned out while he drove.

xxx

"Well, at least it's a mild concussion this time." Elaine said dryly as she came back into the hospital cubicle I was in. I was laying on the bed, eyes closed. Joe lounged in the chair in the corner. "The doctor will be by shortly to set the arm and cast it, though. Man Steph, you're something else." she shook her head. "I'm off now, so I'll stay and visit with you guys." She moved over to Joe and he pulled her down into his lap.

"Yeah. Mind if I cry off the game tonight?"

"You can crash in the spare room, Cupcake." Joe said.

"I won't be much for company." I told him. I was too worried about Ranger. Hot tears pooled in my eyes and I blinked furiously to keep them at bay.

"It's just an arm, Cupcake. I mean, it'd be better if you weren't broken, and I'm not looking forward to Ranger's reaction when he sees you, but we can surely put up with a cranky and sore Stepha-"

"Ranger's missing." I blurted.

"What do you mean?" Joe asked.

"He missed his check-in call with Tank 3 days ago."

"He might just be busy. Or somewhere without a cell tower." Joe pointed out.

"Joe, Tank never worries. Tank always says _no news is good news_. But right now, Tank, Bobby, and Lester are worried. I walked in on them worrying in the break-room today. Something's wrong. And he's missing." I could hear my voice rising the longer I spoke. It was odd, but I was strangely dettached from myself. I paused and breathed for a minute. "What happens if he doesn't come back?" I whispered.

Joe had stood by this time, and he sat on the side of the bed and lifted me to a sitting position to hug me. "He'll be back." he told me firmly.

"Tank's worried."

"Cupcake, don't borrow trouble. You have enough of you own right now."

"What's new." I sighed. I leaned on Joe while Elaine sat on my other side. "Spidey's gone too."

"Spidey?"

"My little tree. The one you helped me bring into my apartment. He got crushed when the wall caved in." We were silent for a minute, and my head started to slowly clear.

"Sorry." I muttered. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Pain, painkillers, and shock." Elaine told me, matter of fact. The curtain moved aside and Tank walked into the room. His eyes looked me over, and he nodded once towards Joe once he decided that I was going to live.

"You should have waited for me." he told me. The doctor came in right behind him and kicked everyone out. Elaine offered to stay and assist.

"Can I talk to you a minute?" I heard Joe ask Tank as they left the little room. Great. The "let's lock Stephanie in a safehouse" discussion has begun.

They didn't lock me in a safehouse. Once my arm was casted Joe and Elaine offered me a place to stay again, but I declined. I wanted to stay in Ranger's apartment. Just in case he came home. Just in case we found anything out. And because his sheets and shower gel made me feel closer to him. Well, they made me feel pampered too. But that wasn't the important part. The important part was that they belonged to Ranger, and I was scared. Tank drove me back to the apartment, stopping on the way at the Tasty-Pastry and bought me another two dozen Bostom Cremes. Then he stopped at McDonald's for me. And for him - turns out Tank has a slight junkie-streak.

I settled myself on the couch for a long, boring day of waiting for my cast to dry and harden completely. I popped in ghostbusters and watched while I ate donut after donut. I thought about Ranger. I thought about Christmas. Ella came up later and helped me wrap the gifts I'd bought. It was hard to do one handed. I was glad that the only person I had left was Mary-Alice. We got everything wrapped and piled neatly - including the batman/wonder woman knife, which I refused to look at.

"Thanks." I told her when we were done. "I'd have never managed that on my own."

"No problem, dear. I'm glad I could help. I left some food in the fridge. If you're bored or lonely and want some company, just come down and we'll play cards. Anytime you want, call down and come over." Ella told me.

I couldn't speak past the lump in my throat, so I just smiled at her and nodded. Ella was so sweet. She left and I checked the fridge. Chocolate cake. Ella is a goddess.

I didn't go down, though. I just wrapped the cast in a plastic bag and showered, before crawling into bed, extra-early. The weight of Ranger's sheets and blankets was comforting. Again, I grabbed his second pillow and hugged it to myself. I didn't dare think about the ways the holidays could get worse. They were too heartbreaking to consider. I closed my eyes, and said an earnest prayer that Ranger be safe, wherever he was.


	7. Chapter 7

I skipped my final edit to get this out tonight. But out it is.

As always, I own nothing but the plot, and all credit for the wonderful characters must go to JE. J

**Chapter 7**

Strong hands ran down my body, lingering as they touched every inch of me. I could feel his weight on me as talented fingers explored my skin. I writhed under his touch. I heard his name but didn't realize it was me calling it. He was taking his time, touching and tasting my skin, setting every nerve ending tingling. His fingers whispered against my inner thigh, and then moved to find me hot and wet, teasing sensitive skin. His breath was warm on my face, and then his fingers were replaced. I arched against him and flung my arms over my head as he slowly pushed into me.

My cast hit the headboard and pain screamed through my arm, jolting me awake. Ranger's pillow was on my stomach and he was...not there. I stayed still, not even breathing, listening for any movement, any sign of life in the apartment. Nothing. I sat up, and looked around, searching for anything that wasn't the same as I left it last night. Nothing. I flopped back onto the bed and sighed. I repeated my prayer that Ranger be safe, wherever he was. Then I flung the pillow away from me and got up, heading to the shower again. My body was still burning, aching for him. I thought maybe a shower with his bulgari would fix that.

It didn't. All Ranger's shower gel did today as make me feel sad and empty. And worried and scared for Ranger. I allowed myself a moment of miserableness in the shower, but once I was out, dried off, and dressed once again in one of Ranger's t-shirts and a sweatshirt of my own, I decided to at least try and be cheerful.

I stood, eyeing Ranger's keys in the dish on the sideboard. Could I borrow a vehicle? Should I borrow a vehicle? Which one? I dialed Tank.

"Can I take one of Ranger's cars?"

"Take the truck." Tank told me. "Where are you going?"

"Bonds Office." Ah, I was mastering the one word answers too!

"I'll meet you there in a bit. We need to go to Stark Street today."

I sighed. Stark Street, not my favorite place. "Alright." I told him. He disconnected and I grabbed Ranger's truck keys and headed out to the garage. I beeped the truck open and climbed in. It smelled so strongly of Ranger it knocked me back. I took a deep breath and tears filled my eyes before I could stop them. I ran my hand across the steering wheel. Ranger's hands were the last ones to touch it. I caressed the wheel for a minute, and then realized that the guys were probably going to come running out to see what was wrong if I didn't do something... so I turned it on, put it in gear, and headed out.

It was strange to be in Ranger's truck, looking through tinted windows, smelling him with every breath. But it was comforting. He'd been gone so long that I'd forgotten these little things, gotten used to them, and him, not being there. It was reassuring to be surrounded by his essence again. I felt myself relax as I drove, and I thought about Ranger. I missed him. My body missed him too. I sighed. I pulled up at the bonds office and beeped the truck locked. McDonald's in hand, I went to face the spanish inquisition.

The bonds office was just as decorated and sickeningly cheerful as it had been the last time I was in. Lula was equally decorated - wearing green spandex pants and a red spandex top with green mistletoe on each shoulder. She had reindeer antlers on her head, and a santa hat poised over one antler. I looked down at myself. Black pants, black t-shirt, blue sweatshirt, black cast. Pretty spirit-less in comparison. But I didn't feel very spiritful.

"Girl, lets see that arm. I gonna be the first to write on that cast." Lula stated, then sniffed. "You brought Mickey-D's?" she lunged for the bag. I guess my cast was saved from being marked, at least for a little while. We all dug into the food, and didn't really talk until we were finished. As soon as we were done Lula grabbed a set of neon puff paints and my arm. She went to town, studying my cast and putting more effort than I could bother with into her design details.

"Got any skips for me?" I asked Connie while Lula started doodling.

"Got a few, but you can't have them today."

"Tank is coming by, he'll take me around."

"My man's coming?" Lula looked up at me, a grin filling her face. She went back to drawing around my thumb.

"You still don't get skips today." Connie told me. "You just broke that yesterday! Wait a couple of days and I'll pass them on. Vinnie'll live, none are urgent."

"Ok. I think Tank wants us to go after Onastic again today anyhow." I sighed. I really didn't want to go after him. I looked down at my cast. Lula was drawing flowers. She worked her way around the top and sides, then lifted my arm to get at the bottom. "Are you going to leave any black?" I asked her.

"Hey, this here's a blank canvas. It needs lots of decorating." Lula told me. She was just finishing when Tank walked in.

"Nice." he said, zeroeing in on my cast.

"My MAN!" Lula exclaimed, jumping up and rushing over to crush him in a hug.

"My THUMB!" I shrieked as I looked down at the cast. I'd been studying the flower, and had turned my arm to see the underside. On the cast, on the palm of my hand just below my thumb, Lula had drawn two perfect testicles.

"Cool, huh?" Lula twisted in Tank's arms and grinned at me.

"Not cool! My thumb looks like a penis! Do you realize what my mother will say?"

"Your grandma will like it." Tank pointed out, looking down at the cast and grinning.

Yeah. Great. My mother will kill me first. I need to find a sweatshirt with long, long sleeves to hide my whole hand. Guess I'll be raiding Ranger's closet. In the meantime, I wasn't going to think about it. Out of sight, out of mind. I stood up to leave, causing Lula to rush back over.

"No, Sit. I'm not done." she said, and she pulled out a thing of glitter. She took my arm and sprinkled silver glitter all over the cast before I could pull away.

"You just got glitter all over me." I sighed.

"Looks good." Lula said, studying her artwork. She held my arm up and looked at Connie. "Right Con?"

"Yup. Looks good." Connie agreed. She rolled her eyes at me, and I shrugged back. I looked at Tank.

"Ready?" I asked him. He nodded. "Gotta run, girls. We'll pick up those skips tomorrow, I'm sure." I told Connie.

"So." I said, as we walked towards Ranger's truck. Tank held his hand out to me for the keys. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I mean, so far, only Ranger's hands and mine had touched the steering wheel, and that was comforting.

"We're making a statement. We take Ranger's truck." he said. I handed over the keys.

"What kind of Statement?" I asked as we headed towards Stark Street.

"Warning Onastic. He's gotta know the consequences of fucking with Ranger's woman."

"I'm not Ranger's woman." I told him. He raised one eyebrow. We drove the rest of the way in silence.

Stark Street was even grungier than usual. Tank parked outside of a rundown old warehouse. "Stay here. Lock the doors." he told me, and then he was gone. I watched him walk into the warehouse, gun in hand, and then he disappeared for real. A few people looked at me through the windows. I made a big effort not to slink down and hide below window-level. A little while later, Tank came back out and walked lazily towards the truck. He climbed in and immediately pulled out from the curb, putting on his seatbelt as he drove.

"So?" I asked him.

"Went well." he told me.

"Why did I have to come if I was going to be locked in the truck?"

"Makes a statement. You need to be seen, but not present, and it's better if they don't see the cast." he answered.

"Ok." I said. We lapsed into silence. Conversation isn't exactly mindblowing with Ranger or his merry men. I watched out the window as we drove, and started when I saw some teenagers torturing a small cat. "Stop the truck." I demanded. "PULL OVER." Tank hit the brakes and the truck screeched to a halt. The teenagers all looked rough, and they were kicking the little black kitten around. I got out and rushed over as one boy put a knife to its throat.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded.

"What's it to you?" he sneered at me. I felt Tank's presence and didn't have to look up to know that he was standing behind me, in fighting stance. The teenagers faces changed slightly and they took the slightest step back.

"It's cruel to torture innocent animals. Why don't you leave it to its mother and let it be?"

"It gots no mother. It's gonna die anyhow. Just thought we'd end it's suffering sooner. Seems more fair than letting it starve to death." One of the others spoke up. They definitely had a healthy respect for Tank. They weren't cowering but weren't sneering at me either.

"By kicking it around?"

"Why not have some fun? We could have some fun with you, too." another shot back, sneering again. I could feel Tank change behind me, and the boys backed up another step.

"Fun's over. I'm taking the cat." I said, and reached for it.

"He's ours." The leader came at me with his knife. Tank's arm shot from behind me and grabbed his wrist.

"The lady will take the kitten. You and your gang will walk away and make no further threats."

I snatched the kitten up and cuddled him to my chest. I could feel its ribs, sticking out like little knives. It was shivering and shaking and its heart was beating way too fast against my hand. I looked at Tank and he nodded towards the truck. I headed off that way. He did something behind my back to make the leader yelp, and then followed me.

"What'd did you do to him?" I asked as we pulled away from the curb.

"Sprained his wrist some. Nothing major." Tank shrugged. He looked at the kitten, a shaking little ball curled up in my lap. "What are you going to do with that?"

"Keep it. Maybe try to find it a home after it's recovered and better fed." I kept a hand on it, feeling its breathing and heartbeat. Poor little thing.

"Where is it going to live?"

"In.." Hm... I hadn't thought of that. Wonder how Ranger would feel about a kitten in the apartment? "In Ranger's apartment." I admitted finally. "I'm sure he won't mind." I added. "He likes me."

Tank shook his head, the barest hint of a grin showing at the corners of his mouth. "Boss is going to be awfully surprised when he gets back."

"If he gets back before I'm in my own apartment anyhow." I shrugged. "By the end of january, I should be. Hey, can we stop at the mall for a bit? I need to find a christmas gift for Mary Alice." I sighed.

"You'll need some stuff for the fluffball too." Tank told me. He took the next right and headed towards the mall.

We left the kitten in Ranger's truck, and headed into the mall. We hit the pet store first, and I picked out a little bed, feed and water dishes, litter, litter box, and poop-scoop, kitty-shampoo and kitten chow. The sales clerk also suggested wet food, so I picked up a few cans of that too. Expensive little beast. The kid at the till rang it up, but before I could hand over my already-maxed credit card, Tank shoved his onto the counter in front of me. I looked up at him, narrowing my eyes. "Might as well do my good deed for the year." he shrugged. Hm..Tank's a softie. Shoulda known. He tucked the box of litter under one arm. "Where to?" he asked me as I collected my bags and we headed out of the store.

"I don't know. I've no idea what to get Mary Alice. She's eight, thinks she's a horse, and already had plenty of horse clothes and toys."

Tank was silent for a minute as we walked aimless. Then, he turned and steered me towards the door. "Hey!" I said.

"Riding lessons. We'll go to the barn my niece rides at." he told me. I stopped short.

"Riding lessons?"

"Yeah. She'll love it."

"No kidding." I told him. "Let's go!"

Back at the apartment I dumped the kitten, still a dirty, grey ball of chunks, into Ranger's kitchen sink. I dug through the pet store bags for the shampoo, and then pulled out an older looking towel. The riding lessons were going to be a resounding success, I knew it. I met with the teacher and she was really nice. I got Mary Alice a gift certificate for four riding lessons. Then I got myself some too. I thought maybe it would be fun to learn. I would ride with Mary Alice for her four lessons. Tank looked like he was going to laugh at me, but I just gave him my best burg glare and he went back to driving.

I put the shampoo down by the sink and lifted the kitten out. Cuddling it to my chest with one hand, I ran the water and tested it. Once it was nice and lukewarm I stopped the drain and waited for a few inches to fill the bottom of the sink. Then I dumped the kitten back in and went about cleaning it while holding it with one hand. Two shampoo's later it finally felt clean. I pulled it out and wrapped it in the towel, cuddling it again.

"Hey Rex. Want a little brother?" I asked him. Rex looked up from his exercise wheel, twitched his whiskers, and hopped off to go hide in his soup can. Hm... "He'll come around." I told the kitten.

I let the kitten go after a bit and he curled up in a miserable little ball on the floor. I put some wet food down in front of him, and he went from miserable to greedy in no time. Once he had eaten he curled up again and didn't move.

xxx

"What's going on?" I asked Tank as the kitten and I walked into the control room. I His face went blank, but not before I caught a hint of...distress...on it. I looked at him, then at Lester. I had been planning on letting Tank know that I was going to my parents for supper, but one look at his face had me changing my mind.

"Just got a call back from the government about Ranger. No news. He's MIA." Lester told me.

"So when are they going to have a team ready to go look for him?" I asked. Please oh please, let them find him quickly.

"They government doesn't go in and retrieve." Tank said, grimfaced. My heart lurched. "They'd rather lose one man, even if he's their best, than lose a whole team and risk blowing the mission. When they complete the mission, if they find him alive, he'll come home."

Tank didn't have to list the alternatives. I knew what they were. "Fuck the government." I choked. I shoved the kitten into Tank's hands, and rushed to the bathroom just in time to throw up all of the leftovers of my McDonald's breakfast, eaten so long ago. I sat by the toilet, choking on my tears and hiccuping. I could barely breathe. My chest was compressing into itself. I heard a sharp rap on the door but ignored it. A second later it opened and Tank entered. He pulled me to my feet, flushed the toilet, and pushed me to the sink. I rinsed my mouth and took a deep breath, and then another, trying to stop the crying. After a minute, I started to win the battle, and was down to hiccups and sniffles when Tank spoke again.

"Don't give up on him." He told me, handing me the kitten. He squeezed my shoulder, and looked at me like he wanted to say something else, but didn't know what. "Think positive." he finally said, and left.

I made my way back to the apartment, I had no desire to go out anymore. Or stay in the control room. Leaving the lights off and the rooms dark, I lay on the couch with the kitten on my chest and cried until I was empty.

I woke up a lot later as the kitten pounced on my face. "Little brat." I scratched behind its ear, after recovering from the scare he gave me. I flipped on the lamp and looked at the little cat. He was scrawny, all of his bones stuck out, but he had soft, coal black fur and the deepest, bluest eyes. Those eyes were staring at me right now, and he was the cutest little thing. I cuddled him close and then put him on his little kitten-bed by the couch. I pulled off my clothes and left them in a pile, climbing straight into bed. I grabbed Ranger's pillow as always and hugged it to my stomach. The pillowcase was soft against my skin. I closed my eyes and prayed harder than I ever had before, as large snowflakes started to fall outside my window. A white Christmas, but a black one for me. I kept up my prayer, begging for safe return. "Babe, I love you." whispered through my mind as I fell into a restless sleep.

xxx

_Meanwhile, in the middle of nowhere, unknown location..._

_He ducked into the cavern and crouched behind a rock. His gun was empty, his extra clips used. All he had left was his knife, and they wouldn't let him close enough to use it. He knew he was being tracked. And the guy was exceptionally good. He had a sneaking suspicion his hunters were toying with him. He'd been on the move for eleven days, unable to ever rest long enough to so much as nap. He hoped like hell this cave had another way out, otherwise his goose was cooked. He slumped against the rock. Of course it was. Mustering another surge of energy he stalked, quiet as a cat, down the cave wall, deeper into darkness. He stepped cautiously, testing his footing before each step down. Then, he ran into a solid wall. There was no more cave. There was no other way out. The smallest of noises, as if a pea was dropped, echoed across the walls. He knew that noise, he'd heard it before. They were on their way in. He was well and truly trapped. He knew what would come next. He knew one day it would come to this. He thought about everyone back home. _

"_Babe, I love you." He whispered in the darkness. He wished more than anything she could hear him. _

_A soft popping noise sounded, and a man stepped into view. He was big, tall, broad, with a long blonde ponytail. "Come on." he said. _

_He narrowed his eyes. "I should trust you why? Who are you?"_

"_I'm your last hope. I'm saving her Christmas. And yours. The name's -" The strange man grabbed his wrist in an iron grip, his words fading away as the world went black._


	8. Chapter 8

My apologies everyone. Brief technical issues (mainly a sleep deprived brain) caused me to upload the wrong file. Huh. Go figure. Here's the right one!

I had a real hard time writing this one…not sure why…the muse is off in the tropics and I'm left alone, I suppose!

As always, I own nothing. JE owns the characters and won't let me batnap Ranger **sigh**

Also, I have to extend a Thanks to Stayce for helping me brainstorm (and I forgot this the last chapter, too..oops), and picking apart some of my paragraphs when I fret about them..

And to Christie for naming the kitten!

**Chapter 8**

I woke up flat on my back, my throat heavy, and a wet, rough little tongue tracing my jawline. I realized that it wasn't Ranger, and sighed sadly. I looked down to find the black kitten, curled up on my neck. He had one paw on my chin as he licked along my face. Yeesh. Next thing you know, he'll be taking little bites.

"Alright, little monster, I don't remember you being welcome on this bed." I told the kitten, picking him up and cuddling him to me as I climbed out of bed. I padded to the kitchen and fed him before wrapping my cast in a plastic bag and showering.

I walked back out of Ranger's bedroom and looked around for the kitten. He was nowhere to be found. "Here kitty." I called. No answer. I listened for any sound, but couldn't find him. I ducked back into the bedroom and checked his bed - no kitten. I flung the blankets back on Ranger's bed - no kitten. I peered under the bed. Clean as a whistle. Man, no wonder Ranger always thought I needed to get a mop under it. I combed the closets and then left the room and shut the door. I needed to find the little stinker. I searched through the kitchen and living room and couldn't find him. The underside of the couch was as clean as underneath the bed. I so need Ella in my apartment. After looking everywhere, I flopped on the couch and sighed. Where was the beast. And how could such a tiny little thing disappear so easily?

I got up and fed Rex a grape. I guess he could disappear because he was so tiny, I thought, as I watched Rex snatch the grape and rush back into his soup can. Then I got back to the matter at hand. If I were a kitten, where would I go? I thought about that for a bit. I would check out the boots. I went into the closet again and looked and felt inside all of the footwear. There was something awfully personal about sticking my hands in Ranger's boots. His feet had been in these. My fingers lingered along the sole of the boots... Ranger's feet had been in these. What if I never saw him again? I pushed back the fear and sadness and shoved myself up to my feet.

I checked all the little cracks and corners, and even in the cupboards that he may have been able to climb into if he figured out how to paw the doors. I checked the cracks beween the furniture, and underneath it all a second time, calling for the kitten as I went. I was really puzzled once I'd searched the entire kitchen and living room a second time and couldn't find him. I was starting to worry, too. I went back into Ranger's room and closed the door. I dug through the closet a second time, and with the same results. I sat on the bed and scrounged my brain. While I thought I heard a faint wuff to my left, and I stood and headed that way. I stopped in front of a set of dresser drawers and sifted through the clothes hanging above the drawers. No kitten. I stood there thinking for a minute and then opened a drawer. The drawer had been open earlier, and I'd shut it on my last pass through. I stared down inside it.

Sure enough, there was the kitten, asleep in Ranger's black silk boxers. When I'd glanced down earlier it looked like they were wrinkled, but I hadn't thought much of it. I had closed the drawer and been on my way. It hadn't occured to me that the little brat would have gotten in there and hidden inside Ranger's single pair of underwear.

Of course, if I hadn't lost the race for dignity, and looked to see if Ranger had taken the underwear in question with him, the kitten wouldn't have had the opportunity to get into the drawer. I reminded myself of this twice, before digging the little monster out of his boxers and closing the drawer. The kitten woke up immediately, of course, and I lifted him to my face and peered into his deep blue eyes. "I think I'll call you Ranger." I told him. The kitten batted a paw at my nose and mewed softly. I took it as a happy sound. "You remind me of him. A black panther. You'll grow up to be silent and efficient. Just like him." The kitten didn't seem to care much about my reasoning, he just swiped both paws at my nose and wound up hitting me in the cheeks, framing my face. I cuddled him to my chest and decided to take him downstairs with me while I went to see what was up.

"Any word on Ranger?" I asked Tank as I walked into the control room. Mini-Ranger chose that moment to dig his claws into my chest and I yelped and dropped him. He scurried off between Lester's legs and ducked into Tank's office.

"Shit!" I hollered. "Ranger! Come here." Unfortunately, unlike dogs, cats don't come when called. Mini-Ranger didn't re-appear at my command.

"Ranger?" Tank's jaw dropped for a brief flash of a second before he snapped it shut. "You aren't calling that thing Ranger."

"Why not?" I asked. He reminded me of Ranger, and it made me feel...closer to him. In a weird way. I think maybe I was mourning him. Tank just raised his eyebrow at me. I knew why not. How would I explain it to Ranger? "Carlos, then?" Tanks other eyebrow raised. I just stared back at him. If I wanted to call him Ranger I would.

"Boss is gonna kill me." Tank finally muttered, turning and heading into the office. The kitten scampered out as Tank went in, and Lester snatched him up. He held it upside and got a puzzled look on his face.

"Hey, Beautiful? You sure you want to name this pretty little thing Ranger?"

"Yeah." I said.

"Well... you might want to call her Rangerette, then. Because this little one is definitely a girl."

"She is?" I asked. Great. So much for Ranger. "I need to think up a name for a girl?!"

"It can't be that hard." Lester grinned at me.

I thought about it for a minute. Well...Ranger is batman...so... howabout.. "Catwoman!" I exlaimed.

"Please god NO." I heard Tank groan from the office.

"Any word on Ranger?" I repeated my question to Lester, pushing aside the subject of the kitten's name for a while.

"No, nothing." he told me. "We will let you know if we hear something."

I nodded past the lump in my throat. "What if he doesn't come back?" I asked him, my voice a harsh whisper.

"Then we move on as scheduled, as outlined. But beautiful, we can't give up hope yet." Lester told me. "And don't name her catwoman." he added, handing me the kitten back.

"Well what should I call her?" I asked on a sigh. I was never going to find a name for the little beast.

"Sin." Tank muttered, walking past me. Hm...I like the sound of that.

"Why?" I asked. "Where did you come up with that?"

"Because it was a sin to stop the bronco yesterday." he grumbled as he headed into another cubicle. I humphed and looked at the little cat, who was gnawing at my cast with her little razor teeth.

"Sin...I do kind of like that."

"It suits her." Lester grinned. "And you." He tweaked a curl, which startled me - the merry men seldom, if ever, touched me. "Do not give up hope." He told me again, and then headed off to whatever business he had today.

I looked down at my shirt, and cast, and realized that if my hand wasn't hidden the freaking penis-thumb nightmare that Lula drew would be visible to any who saw the underside of my palm, or even the side of my hand. Shit. I went back upstairs to call the Bonds Office and to see if I could find something to wear to cover it up. Especially if I was stopping at home for supper tonight, which was a possibility.

I dumped the kitten down and she went straight for the litter box. Good little cat, I thought. I ducked into Ranger's room and rummaged through his closet trying to figure out how to cover up the cast. I found a zip-up hoodie and shrugged myself into it. It covered hte cast and fell past my fingers. Perfect. I fumbled with the zipper but got it done up, and headed back out to find Sin. She was eating a bit of dry food, and was looking a little tired. I shut the door to Ranger's bedroom just as there was a knock on the door. It was Tank.

"I've got a lead on Onastic. If we hurry we'll catch him where he's at, and we'll be able to bring him in today." he told me.

"Great." I said. I grabbed my gun, pepper spray, stun gun, and cuffs and dumped them all into my bag, and stuffed my feet into my shoes before looking back at Sin once, and closing the door behind me.

Three hours later we were leaving the Police Station with my body receipt in hand. Capturing Onastic was surprisingly easy. Tank walked up to him and snapped a cuff on one wrist before he knew what was happening. It was good to have brute force on my side, because brutus, aka Tank, just manhandled the guy and had him in cuffs in no time. He was yelling about how outrageous and illegal it was, but I had all the paperwork with me, and gave him my bounty hunter speel, and off we went to the station.

In the Bronco he was letting loose with a steady stream of curses and insults, aimed at me. Finally, Tank had enough. At a red light, he twisted around and looked Onastic right in the eye.

"Your face is pretty ugly. It would be a shame to make it worse. Keep insulting the lady and you will require plastic surgery just to be able to eat." he warned, his eyes dark and dangerous. He was silent the rest of the way to the station.

"Hey, Steph!" Morelli called from behind me. We stopped and I turned back. He jogged from the station doors over to where we were. "I picked something up for you yesterday. Can I stop by later today and drop it off?"

"Why don't you wait until Christmas?" I asked. It was odd that he'd want to give me something now.

"This is a before Christmas kind of thing. Elaine and I felt you would like it."

"Oh. Well...Sure. I'll call you when I get back to Rangeman."

"Ok, Cupcake. See you then." Joe tugged on one of my curls, and jogged back to the building. He had to have been chilly, he'd run out without even his jacket. We continued to the Bronco.

"Thanks." I told Tank as we were pulling out of the parking lot. "Onastic was getting on my nerves."

"Where to?" He asked me.

"The bonds office to cash this in. And then the bank. And then I guess my parents." I sighed.

We drove to the office in silence. Tank parked and we both climbed out and walked, side by side, to the door. He held the door for me. Occasionally Ranger's men can be real gentlemen. I got a first class view of Lula's face, wearing the same expression it did when Ranger walked in the door. Only this time it wasn't Ranger behind me, it was just Tank. My heart sunk into my stomach. Ranger might never walk through these doors again. I tore my thoughts back to the present and looked at Lula, who was dressed very much like a present.

Red and gree spandex, again, with little christmas trees on her red shirt and silver ribbon around her belly and criss crossed over her shoulders. On the top of each shoulder was a big silver bow. I cringed inwardly and hoped it didn't show on my face. It wouldn't have mattered anyhow, though, because Lula only had eyes for Tank.

I headed over to the green and gold decorated desk to give Connie my body receipt and wait for her to cut me a cheque. Lula, meanwhile, was plastered to Tank. I glanced back. Ugh. Obviously they weren't seeing enough of each other lately. Probably that was my fault for taking all of Tank's extra time with my problems with Dick-the-One-sticked-Wonder.

"Here." Connie handed me my cheque and three folders. "These guys are all pretty minor. Can Tank help you bring them in in the next couple days?"

"Yes." Tank broke from the kiss he was sharing with Lula long enough to answer her himself. Ick. Never thought he'd be the type to be a public display kinda guy. Then again, Lula is pretty convincing.

"We should go." I told Tank a couple of minutes later. The music and decorations in the bonds office were making me feel weepy, and dammit, watching Tank and Lula made me miss Ranger even more. Lula kissed him one more time before he hugged her, told her he'd see her later in the evening, and gestured me towards the door.

"You take care of my man. And we gots to have ourselves a girls night soon." Lula told me.

"Sure." I agreed. "Maybe between Christmas and New Years." Please, please, please don't let them think of having a Christmas party. My Christmas Cheer cringed at the idea.

We headed off towards my parents place in silence. Tank was in his zone, and I was brooding. I was worried about where I would live now. I didn't need a safe place anymore, now that Onastic was captured. I was homeless until at least the end of January, though, according to the contractors. And I really didn't want to share a bathroom with Grandma Mazur. I sighed. "Hey, Tank?" I asked. He glanced my way but didn't say anything. "Do you think Ranger would mind if I stayed at his place a while longer?" Tank glanced over at me and shrugged. I thought that I would take that as a yes.

Tank drove on in silence, and I brooded some more. This time, instead of brooding about where to live, I worried about Ranger. I knew neither of us were willing to admit that Ranger may never know about my use of his apartment. Denial wasn't working well, but I was still trying.

"You know what?" I told Tank as we headed into the Burg. "I've changed my mind. I don't want to deal with my family. I'll phone my mom." I said. Tank stopped for a light and looked at me a long minute before nodding. He flicked on the turn signal and went around a block, taking us back towards Haywood.

Back in Ranger's apartment I located Sin - curled up in one of Ranger's boots - I needed to remember to keep the closet door closed from now on, and then I sat down on the couch with her curled up on my lap. I picked the phone up off of the end table and dialed my mom. I got the machine, so I left a brief message saying that I was alright and I would see them for dinner Christmas Eve but was probably too busy to get by before that. Whew. I knew based on the message on my cell phone that our next conversation wouldnt' be pleasant, but mom wouldn't get into it during our Christmas dinner, I was sure. I also thought that maybe I should avoid her as long as possible - the less she sees me the less chance she'll discover the testicles on my cast.

And I really didn't want Grandma finding out.

I dialed Joe and left a message letting him know I was home, and then I went back to brooding and worrying. Sin slept on my lap, purring, while I relaxed against the couch, and looked around the apartment. The walls were bare, stark. There was no look of Christmas or holiday in the apartment at all. I supposed that suited me, but it also made me even sadder. Of course, what I really wanted to decorate was the bed. And I wanted to decorate it with one specific object. I drooled a bit at the thought of naked Ranger, sprawled on his bed. And then I squeezed my eyes tight to fight back the tears as I realized that naked Ranger may not sprawl across the bed again. Denial was working less and less. I was starting to feel like he was never coming back. Hope was slipping through my fingers and no matter how I grasped at it, I couldn't seem to keep it.

I shook my head hard to clear it of my sad thoughts, and grabbed my phone as it rang. "Yo."

"Hey Cupcake. I'm in the garage." I disconnected, snuggled Sin into my chest and headed downstairs.

"Hey." I said as I stepped off the elevator. "Whatcha got?"

Joe smiled hesitantly at me. "Elaine and I...well...we thought you might like it." he said, uncertaintly lacing his voice, and he gestured behind himself. I looked over his shoulder. Standing by his SUV was a lovely little green spruce tree.

"You replaced Spidey?" I asked, even though the answer was obvious. My eyes filled with tears. Joe opened his arms and I stepped into them, holding Sin with one hand and wrapping the other arm around his waist. "Thank you." I said into his chest, unable to stop myself from crying softly.

"Any word on Ranger?" Joe asked quietly, his head against my hair. I shook my head slightly, and a new wave of tears came. "It'll be alright, Cupcake. He may be a loose canon, but he's smart and skilled. He'll make it back. He's probably just under the radar to get out." I wanted to believe what Joe was telling me. I really did. So I repeated it to myself over and over, and then I pushed away and looked at him sheepishly.

"I'm sorry." I told him.

"What else are friends for?" Joe asked. He looked at the kitten. "Who's this?"

"This is Sin. I rescued her yesterday. Some teenagers on Stark Street were torturing her, so I took her." I shrugged, as if it was no big deal.

"You were on Stark Street." Joe said flatly.

"Tank was with me!" I defended. Joe's eyes softened a bit again and he nodded.

"Good. I don't like the idea if you out there alone."

"I wouldn't go alone." I told him. And I wouldn't. Stark Street was Ranger's territory, with good reason.

"Good to know, Cupcake." Joe smiled. He nodded his head back towards the tree. "Here, lets get Spidey 2 upstairs." He went back to the SUV and picked up the tree, balancing the extra-large pot it was in on his hip. I keyed the elevator to take us to the seventh floor, and let us into the apartment. Joe found the perfect place inthe living room for the tree.

"I think his name will be Spyro." I said.

"Why Spyro?"

"I don't know. Because reusing Spidey seems like a dishonor to his memory."

"It's a tree, cupcake." Joe shook his head. I sighed, and he grinned at me. "I best be off." he told me. He reached down to scratch Sin, who was eating again, and then tweaked one of my curls. "Hope you like it Cupcake."

"I do. Thanks Joe. And Thank Elaine for me." I hugged him quickly.

"You'll come for supper on the 23rd, right?" he reminded me. I smiled and nodded, and then Joe got into the elevator and headed out. I went back inside and shut the doors, planning on a quiet evening at home. I dialed Ella for supper, dug a Corona out of Ranger's fridge, added a wedge of lime, and sank onto the couch with Indiana Jones in the DVD player. I thought about my day, and was glad Onastic was caught. It felt good to not have to worry about my life again, for a little while. At least until Ranger returned and found me in his space again. If he returned. I shoved that thought out as soon as it crossed my mind; I really, really was not going to think that way tonight. Sin scrambled up on the couch and curled up in my shoulder to sleep. She was so soft and adorable, I thought, as I focused on the television.

That night I locked Sin out of the bedroom to go to bed. The last thing I wanted was cat hair all over Ranger's wonderful, comfortable bed with the heavenly sheets. I said goodnight to Rex, Sin, and Spyro, and then I crawled into bed, hugged Ranger's pillow to my stomach, and started my nightly prayer for him. Halfway into it I heard Sin crying pitifully at the door. I ignored her. I flopped to my other side and curled around Ranger's pillow. Sin continued to cry. And cry. And cry. And I couldnt' block my ears or find a way to ignore them. Finally I got up and opened the door. A little black ball streaked past, leapt at Ranger's bed and missed, falling back to the floor. She got up, shook her head as if she couldn't figure out what happened, and stalked over to where I had placed her bed. She curled up in it and went to sleep. I crawled back under Ranger's sheets, retrieved his pillow, and closed my eyes. It was December 20th. Five more days until Christmas. Only five more days, and then everything will be back to normal and I won't have to pretend extra cheer. I fell asleep, not even noticing the scratching noise, or the soft little furry thing curling up against the back of my neck. I slept fitfully and dreamed about Ranger.


	9. Chapter 9

Oy vey. This is just getting harder and harder to write. I had almost given up on getting this one done!

I owe a huge thanks to Stayce for a midnight brainstorm, without which this chapter probably wouldn't ever have managed to exist.

Also, I made an oops in Chapter 8 and named Steph's tree Spyro – which just won't do, given that Spyro is Stiva's son's name, I believe. So the name of her tree has been officially changed to STITCH.

So as always, I only lay claim to Sin and the plot. The rest belong to the wonderful JE, and I am just borrowing them. Although someday, I WILL batnap Ranger.

**Chapter 9**

I jerked awake when Sin fireballed herself at my head. She tangled herself up in my hair and started to roll around and play, making an even bigger mess of my rats nest of curls. I reached above my head with my good arm, snagged Sin, and plopped her onto my chest. She swatted at my chin, and then crawled up my face and gently bit me. Her teeth around my nose, she looked into my eyes. Little monster. She'd wound up in the bed the last three mornings. But any time I tried to lock her out of the room, she cried and cried and I couldn't get to sleep.

I detached Sin from my nose and she wrapped herself around my hand. I pressed her against my stomach and rolled out of bed, then padded to the kitchen to feed her. While she ate, I bagged my arm and headed to the shower. The hot water was soothing, and it spread the scent of the Bulgari as it steamed the walls. Normally being wrapped in Ranger's shower gel made me wish desperately that I could find a place to hide a shower massager in his apartment, but lately all it did was make me sadder, scareder, and lonely. There had been no word from or about Ranger at all - it was the first question I asked every morning. Every morning he felt further and further away from me. And trying to be positive was getting increasingly harder.

I finished my shower and wrapped myself in Ranger's robe. I dug around in the closet and located a pair of my cargo's, and one of Ranger's hoodies. Ah yes, with sleeves to reach the bottom of my cast again. I'd been wearing Ranger's clothes for the last few days. I liked wearing his clothes. Of course, when I ran into mom and Grandma yesterday mom was horrified. She couldn't believe I was running around in Ranger's clothes, and what would Joe think of it? I had pointed out gently that Joe and I weren't together anymore, and made a quick escape. I definitely wasn't looking forward to tomorrow. I sighed to myself as I finished brushing my hair out, and headed back to the living room to locate Sin.

I was suprised to find Sin curled up on the couch, sleeping. Usually I had to hunt for her, and I found her in the oddest places. Once already, I absolutely could not find her anywhere. She had been tumbling around my feet when I went to get a beer, and then ten minutes later, she was missing. I hunted absolutely everywhere, calling for her.

Turns out she's gone into the fridge when I grabbed the beer, and I'd accidentally shut her in. Now I check every time I close the fridge door. I grabbed Sin and cuddled her, capturing her paws before she could smack me with them. Slipping into my shoes, I snaked a hand out and grabbed a set of keys before heading down to the control room.

"Any word about Ranger?" I asked as I knocked on Tank's office door. I asked this question every morning, and every morning I got the same answer. But every morning I hoped that the answer would be different. It wasn't. As always, Tank shook his head once at me, and that was my answer. I turned away to go back upstairs. I squeezed my eyes tightly against the hot tears that filled them. It was two days before Christmas and I might never see Ranger again. I had gotten two steps away from Tank's door when he spoke up.

"What are your plans today?"

I took a breath, and forced myself to let it out slowly, forcing my emotions back the way Ranger taught me. "Not much. I'm going to go to the Bonds office for lunch with the girls. And then maybe come back and hang out for a bit, and then go to Joe's for supper."

"No FTA's?"

"Nope. Not until after Christmas." I told him. Having Tank as a partner was fabulous. Connie had had five files for me, and Tank and I got them all apprehended in two days. He had made it easy. He intimidated people just enough that they didn't dare throw me in garbage or run, or anything. They just cowered back and let us cuff them. Well, maybe not quite, but Tank was good, and Tank always had them back in the Bronco in relatively short time. My bank account was happy and I was safe, but I was still in negotiations with Tank about his rate of pay. I insisted he should get a cut. He refused to take it. I had a plan, though.

"You're ok on your own?" He asked me.

"Yup. I'll call you if that changes." I told him. He nodded at me, and I turned and headed out. As I walked past the monitors, Lester snaked an arm out and spun me into him, squishing Sin who dug all of her claws into me. I yelped and Lester snagged her, holding her in the air as she batted all four feet around. He laughed as he hugged me, before he let me go and handed Sin back.

"Merry Christmas, Beautiful." he told me. "I'm in charge tomorrow and Christmas day."

"You aren't spending any of Christmas with family?"

Lester shrugged. "I don't have any family around here. I might fly out for New Years, but we'll see what's happening." he told me, turning his attention back to the monitors.

I snuggled Sin as she started to purr at her usual volume level of dull roar. I headed back upstairs to drop off Sin and mope about Ranger for a few minutes before driving to the Bonds Office.

As I opened the door to the office I was met with the smell of Pino's Pizza, and the sound of christmas carols. I cringed and sighed to myself as I stepped through and let the door swing shut behind me.

"You're late, girl!" Lula told me, wrapping me in a bear hug. The instant she let me go she grabbed my cast and inspected it. "A masterpiece." she mused. "I oughta go into business."

"Cast-art?" I asked.

"Yeah. And cement-art, and plaster-art. Flowers by Lula. Painted on anything."

"Anything, Huh?" I laughed, and looked down at my cast. Lula's flowers were actually very well done, including the poinsetta.

"Anything." She said, and I had a funny feeling I didn't want to know all that _anything_ included. "And look." Lula pointed over the door. I looked up. Mistletoe. "In case my man, or Batman, come in."

"Batman won't be coming in." I told her. "He's still ETA unknown." I hadn't told the girls he was MIA. I didn't want to worry them, and I didn't want Lula asking me if we'd heard anything yet every day. I had a hard enough time dealing with it on my own, I didn't want to be bombarded with questions and discussions. I wanted to be left alone. The music was making me twitch, only because it was entirely too cheerful, and I wanted nothing more than to run out to the Porsche and drive far, far away. "Let's eat." I suggested.

We had a nice lunch, but I zoned out through most of it and didn't stay long afterwards. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with Connie and Lula. It's just that they were so cheerful, and merry, and I couldn't find even the slightest bit of merry in me. And I was too tired to keep pretending for long. I took a bite of pizza, and scrounged my mind for something to say.

"Love the outfit." I finally told Lula. Lula stood, piece of pizza in hand, and twirled so I could get the full effect of Mrs. Claus in Red Spandex. Red sequined and glittered spandex, that is. Her hair was braided up in rows with green, white, and red beads. And she was wearing shiny black thigh-highs with killer heels. If there's one thing that can't be said about Lula, it's that she's not unique. "you ooze creativity in spades." I told her, squinting and looking slightly to the side as it was the only way I could focus on her without getting sunspots in my eyes.

"That's me, creative genius!" Lula agreed. Connie muttered something under her breath, and Lula turned to look at her. "You dissin' me, girl?"

"Not at all." Connie said, and rolled her eyes at me. The outfit was definitely over the top, but Lula got brownie points for confidence and individuality, that's for sure.

"Me and my man, Tank, we's gonna have a party tonight. A party for two. He gonna be Santa, and I the misses." Lula told us.

"I don't think I needed to know that. TMI!" I slunk down in the couch and finished my pizza.

Before I left we exchanged gifts. Connie and I got together to get Lula a gift certificate from Pleasure Treasure.

"Oooh, You girls are the best! Tank is gonna love you too." Lula exclaimed gleefully. I could see her mentally shopping already.

"Tank doesn't NEED to know the particulars, does he?" I suggested. Personally, I'd rather Tank not know. Or, at least, I'd rather that I not know that Tank's going to know. Lula smiled slyly, and I decided I also didn't want to know what she was thinking.

Lula and I had had a great idea for a gift for Connie, and we brought Tank and, well, Ranger - although Rangeman footed the funds on behalf of him, given his being out of communciation, and all - in as well. The result was we could afford the perfect gift. A bug detector.

"Now Vinnie can't slip none past you." Lula told her.

"Ha. And if I find one I could have some fun with life too."

"Yeah, tell someone fake on the phone that you got a line on a prize duck. When Vinnie comes runnin' out the office to get the particular-things, you shoot the bug and then you point the gun at him!" Lula said. Despite myself, I started to laugh. I liked the way Lula's mind works sometimes. "That's more the spirit, girl!" Lula turned to me.

I was a little bit concerned, but pleasantly surprised to find that the girls had gotten me digitally remastered versions of Ghostbusters and Wizard of Oz.

"We thought your old ones were about ready to retire." Connie told me.

"Yeah." Lula added. "And these ones got that surround sound thing. Batman's got surround sound, right?"

For the first time in a while, it was actually easy, and natural, to smile. "Yeah, he does." The girls knew I was staying in his apartment - Tank had told Lula that, making sure that she knew that it was NOT the Batcave. A while back, though, she'd remarked that it "still had a bat-bedroom" so it was good, in her mind.

"I ever gonna see not-the-batcave?" Lula asked me.

"Maybe. I don't want to be bringing people there, though. Not without Ranger's permission." I really didn't want to violate his privacy anymore than I did by being there. I had let Joe up with Stitch, the tree, but that was different - that was for Stitch. And Sin, well...I was just a little bit scared for when he found out about Sin. We joshed back and forth a little while longer, and then I left. I told them I had to get ready to go to Joe's, but really, my heart just couldn't take much more merriment right now. We hugged, wished each other a Merry Christmas, and I ducked into the cold wind and ran towards the Turbo. My vehicle of choice for the day. I slipped inside and hit the CD player button to see what Ranger had been playing last. Strains of something haunting and classical filtered through the air, wrapping around me and my eyes filled with tears. I took a furious swipe at them and popped the CD out to check the title. Debussy. Pretty, but way too sad. I slid the CD back in and powered the CD player off. As I drove back to Haywood, the only sound was the Turbo's smooth-running engine.

I let myself into Ranger's apartment and was instantly attacked by a flying blurr. The menace connected with my stomach with a thunk. Surprised, I fell back through the open door. I staggered as I caught my balance and my hand struck out towards my attacker. My fingers dug into soft hair and Sin howled, digging her claws into my stomach, all four paws worth, before tumbling to the ground. And this is where I learned that cats do not always land on their feet. Sin lay stunned on her side on the floor for a second, before getting up, twitching her tail, and stalking off with her nose in the air. Punk.

"Geez little one." I said, as I kicked the door closed. The movies in one hand, I reached down with the other and scooped her up from the spot by the couch where she was sulking, and cuddled her to my chest. She stayed stiff for a second, then snuggled in and started to purr. I stuck Ghostbusters in the DVD player and grabbed Ranger's remotes. Careful not to jostle Sin, I laid down on the couch and studied the remote until I found the buttons to turn the Surround Sound on. Sin wiggled out of my hand, and tuned a couple of circles on my stomach before settling down and purring herself to sleep. Her whole body vibrated against my stomach, causing it to flip a little, and butterfly. I scritched her behind one ear and sighed as I began to watch my movie. It was even more wonderful than usual, with the Surround Sound and Ranger's big-screen Plasma TV. This, I thought, was the life.

The movie ended just in time for me to head to Joe's without being late. I dislodged Sin, who blinked unhappily at me before curling up on the corner of the couch and going back to sleep. I dumped some food in her bowl, gave Rex a couple grapes, and snagged the keys to the Turbo on my way out the door. I stopped at the Control room to give Tank his Christmas Present. He loved the penknife. He gave me a smile I didn't trust and handed me a box. I eyed it warily.

"Open it." he said.

I did. There was a little box inside the big box. And the little box was sitting on a pair of the Red Christmas Underwear that had everyone in Trenton in such a tizzy. Equipped with pom pom on- I looked at Tank. He shrugged and gave me a sly look. Oh yeesh. Gag gift! I opened the other box. It was a pendant, spelling "Bombshell.". It was simple, elegant, and beautiful. I looked up at Tank and my eyes filled with tears. Again. Impulsively, I hugged him, and he gave me a quick, hard hug back.

"Thank you." I said.

"Merry Christmas." he told me. "Stay safe while I'm off. Call if you need me though."

I nodded. "Thanks." I whispered again, smiled at him, and headed out.

I knocked twice on Joe's door and then opened it, stepping into the entrance. Bob bounded over and almost bowled me off my feet. I barely caught myself, and bent down to give him a huge hug. I stood up as Joe came to lean against the counter.

"Cupcake. Merry Christmas." He said, and he hugged me. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly back, burrying my head in his shoulder for a long minute.

"Merry Christmas." I said, looking up at him. He bent and kissed my nose, and then slung an arm around my shoulders and walked me into the kitchen. "Where's Elaine?" I asked.

"She'll be right down." he told me. "How are things going? How's Stitch? and Sin?"

"Stitch is good. Sin is a pest. Things are ok."

"Heard from-"

"No." I interrupted. "No word, nothing." I blinked. Joe reached out and pulled me into another hug.

"It'll be ok, Cupcake." he said. I wished I could believe him. I wished I could keep faith without doubt. But it was hard. I opened my mouth to answer him but before I could say anything Elaine came down the stairs.

"Boy, if I didn't know better, I'd be seriously worried walking down to this." she said. Joe and I pulled apart and I gave her a small smile. "You ok?" she asked me, coming down to give me a hug too. I nodded as we pulled apart.

"Yeah. Merry Christmas."

Elaine ushered me into the kitchen, and pointed at a chair before telling Joe to sit. Joe sat and Bob plopped down at his feet. She pointed to another chair and looked at me. I shrugged and sat. Elaine checked the turkey and then pulled three glasses down and set about mixing Eggnog while we chatted about christmas shopping and things of little meaning. I couldn't help but notice that Elaine mixed the eggnog with a grace and ease that was incredibly apparently. My mother could do things with the same grace and skill. It was a talent that had evaded me my entire life. I just could not manage it. Elaine was going to fit right in with the Morelli family.

"Have you met Joe's family?" I asked as she set drinks down in front of us, on coasters. Coasters. I had never even thought to buy coasters, let alone use them. Hell, paper towel is what I usually used, and in a pinch, even toilet paper worked. Coasters. I wondered where I could buy some.

"Not yet. Christmas day will be the first time." Elaine gave me a nervous smile.

"You'll fit right in." I reassured her. Joe and Elaine had decided at the beginning that they were going to try their best to keep their relationship secret from the Burg. There was a spark there that they wanted to explore. And they wanted to do so, and build a strong relationship, outside of the influence of the Burg. I did my best to help keep it a secret. In fact, everyone was still asking me when I was going to get back together with Joe. I always looked at them and shrugged, maybe said 'probably soon', and left it.

"I hope so." she answered, and went back to the stove to check the pots.

Elaine had decorated Joe's house beautifully. The table was lovely, with a christmas table cloth, plates and utensils placed perfectly together, a napkin under each knife, folding in four. She had lit candles in the centre of the table, it was just overall beautiful. I had never really thought it worth trying to set up a nice table - it just got destroyed anyhow. Elaine had done a wonderful job, though. I would never have been able to do the same.

"Do you need help?" I asked, as Elaine pulled a plate of vegetables and some other items from the fridge. Random things, like Mayo. mustard, and garlic.

"Nope, I'm good. Sit and relax." Elaine smiled at me. She turned back and grabbed a bowl, and began mixing her interesting group of ingredients together. She dumped the mix into a dipping bowl and brought the vegetable plate over, sitting down with us. I grabbed a carrot and dipped it in the dip she'd made. I crunched it slowly, savoring it. It was really very good. I couldn't believe she came up with it out of random ingredients sitting in anybody's fridge. Without even a recipe to follow, or a single measuring cup. I mean, good grief, probably she could be given a can of dog food and she'd make a gourmet meal out of it. She had my mother's touch. The Burg was gonna love her. I sighed in my head, crunching on another carrot. I was having a hard time swallowing though, my throat was getting tight. She was the type of person I'd love to hate, because everything is so easy for her. She's exactly what my mother wants me to be, and everything I'll never be.

But I can't hate her. She's Elaine, and she's wonderful. Still, It was a hard thing to swallow, the realization that I really am a failure, knowing that I don't even have a sixteenth of Elaine's domestic abilities. No wonder I could never make it work with Joe. The best I could figure, I was inherently flawed, incapable of being a real burg woman. It was disheartening.

Too late, I realized that Joe was staring at me expectantly. "Sorry?" I asked.

"I was just wondering if you had plans for New Years yet." Joe asked me again.

"Oh. Nope. Not yet." I told him.

"Cheer up, Cupcake." he told me quietly, as Elaine went back to check things. I smiled faintly at Joe, and turned the subject to the Rangers as he reached out and tugged one of my curls. We all chatted easily for a while, and then the food was ready. Elaine balanced stuff impeccably, bringing 4 and more dishes to the table at a time. Joe carved the Turkey. And we ate an absolutely delicious meal.

"I'm stuffed. That was wonderful, Elaine." I told her, laying my napkin on the table. We all pitched in on the cleanup, and then moved to the living room.

"So." Elaine said, once we sat down. "How did you and Joe hook up again as adults, anyhow?"

I looked at Joe and smirked. "Well... I went to work for my cousin Vinnie when I needed money. And Joe was my first FTA."

"You were FTA?" she turned to Joe. He shrugged sheepishly.

"Yeah. He was." I decided to try for lighthearted humor. I hoped I could pull it off. "And despite the fact that I, out of the goodness of my heart, was trying to help him clear his name, he still cuffed me to my shower rod in the middle of the night."

"You stole my distributor cap!" Joe exlaimed, arguing.

"Naked!" I glared.

"Wait - you stole his distributor cap naked?" Elaine asked.

"No...he broke into my apartment while I was showering and cuffed me to the shower rod."

"Why?"

"Yeah, Cupcake. You explain that one."

"Joe needed a reason to see me naked again." I grinned slyly. Joe glared. I rolled my eyes and shrugged. "Well.truth is... I kind of stole the distributor cap from his truck."

"And why did you have my truck?" Joe raised an eyebrow.

"Stole it." I mumbled. "I needed wheels!" I added indignantly, before Joe could butt in again. "And I took the cap off to keep it safe so you couldn't steal it back." I said.

"So he cuffed you naked to the shower rod." Elaine laughed. "Priceless. How did you get out of that?"

"Yeah, Cupcake. How did you get out of it without the entire PD hearing about it?" Joe added in.

"Um...well...I called Ranger."

Joe let out a bark of laughter. "He must have loved that. Man, I hadn't realized you had him wrapped around your pinky that quickly." Joe said dryly. "I never stood a chance, did I?"

"Nah, he was actually pretty pissed about being called in the middle of the night."

"He came anyway."

"Yeah. He decided he had to see for himself after he heard the part about me being naked." I rolled my eyes. Men. "And he loved the story about your distributor cap. He even set me up with the guy who put in the alarm system, he thought it was a touch of genius."

"Why the alarm system?"

"So Joe couldn't steal it."

"It was MY truck!"

"And I needed it! Besides, if you had your truck, you could have disappeared and I'd have never gotten my money. And quit glaring." I told him. "You oughta be glad I didn't listen to Ranger. He said to just bring you in, you know, that I wasn't to concern myself with solving the puzzle."

"But you solved it." Elaine stated as much as asked.

"Yup!"

"But not before she brought me in to the police station locked in the back of a freezer truck with multiple dead bodies." Joe groused.

"Just be glad that's all I did." I said sweetly.

"She blew up a Porsche, did you know that?" Joe shot back.

"A Porsche?"

"A boxter. Blew it up and knocked a garbage truck onto it."

"It wasn't my fault!" I hated the feeling I got in my heart when I thought about that car. And it was twice as bad tonight.

"When's it ever?" Joe asked me. I huffed a sigh and pouted for a minute.

"You're such an ass." I told him, and scowled when he just grinned at me. We kept our conversation light, and I tried extra hard at maintaining a cheerful face. Finally, we exchanged gifts just before I left to head back to the apartment. Joe and Elaine loved the Rangers tickets I'd got them.

"It'll be a great chance to get away." he thanked me, looking fondly at Elaine. I felt a little bit better, knowing that they'd really enjoy the weekend away. Not much else to do at Christmas but make other people happy. And I was glad to be able to make Joe and Elaine that little bit more happy. And I loved the Hamster Habitat Joe and Elaine got me. A whole new Jungle Gym for Rex. He was going to love it. It would look great in the apartment and keep him safe from Sin as she grew.

We said our goodnights, and our Merry Christmases, and Joe walked me to Ranger's Porsche. I stood there, hand on the door, and turned back to him. "What'll I do if he doesn't come home?" I whispered.

"You go on, Cupcake. You go on. But right now, you keep faith. It's not over till it's over, and he is the best there is. Don't borrow trouble now - deal with things as they are thrown at you." He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly, his face against the top of my head.

"Thanks." I mumbled. Joe gave me another squeeze and let me go.

"Merry Christmas, Cupcake. Take care of you, and let me know if you hear anything about Ranger. Stay tough." he told me, kissing my cheek and pushing me down into the Turbo. He moved back to the sidewalk and waited until I was halfway down the street before heading in. I really was lucky to have friends like Joe and Elaine. I just wished I could find the same happiness. I wished I could be what everyone wanted me to be. I wished my life was different. But most of all, I wished Ranger was home.

I left the lights off when I got back to his apartment. Sin launched herself at me again but I was ready for her and caught the little wretch. I dumped her in her cat bed, shed my clothes, and fell into bed with Ranger's pillow hugged tightly to me. Finally, I could let myself cry, and I did until I fell asleep. This officially took the cake as the worst Christmas ever.

This night, my restlessness was so acute that I dreamed. Gentle hands were prying my fingers away from Ranger's pillow.

"Mmmnn. No. Mine. Ranger's." I mumbled in my sleep. Gently the pillow was taken away. In the dream, I opened my eyes to see Ranger, standing by the bed, staring at me with a strange, perplexed expression on his face.

"What are you doing here?" the vision asked.

"Problems with an FTA." I sighed.

"Are they resolved?"

"Yeah. Couple days ago."

"Good." the dream Ranger said, and then he faded away into blackness.


	10. Chapter 10

And here we go, yet again.

Thanks, as always, to Stayce for all the wonderful help.

And, as always, I own nothing.

**Chapter 10**

I woke up in the darkness thinking that something didn't feel right. I couldn't peg what it was, though. I blinked for a minute, and tried to feel what was out of place, with no luck. Wait - where was Sin? She wasn't curled up with me like usual. Hm... maybe she stayed on her bed this time. It would be nice if she started that, so that Ranger didn't get mad when he came home. I sighed. If he came home. I blinked back the tears that thought instantly brought, and curled up, drifing off to sleep. Screw whatever was different, I'll deal with it in the morning.

"If you tease, you will pay, Stephanie." a voice that sounded an awful lot like Ranger's mumbled behind me. I tensed, rolled onto my back, and turned my head slightly. On the other side of the bed was Ranger, sprawled on his back and dead to the world. My eyes filled with tears for real this time, and I drank in the sight of his face. His features were drawn with exhaustion, and he was definitely asleep. And dreaming about me? I saw the covers wiggle, down near his waist. "Babe. You're fondling me again." he murmurred, and I saw his mouth, even in sleep, curl into a wolf grin. Uh Oh! I burrowed under the covers and, careful not to touch Ranger, felt along until I felt a little furry tail thumping in the bed. Oh good grief.

It was Sin, curled up against Ranger's leg, inside his black silk boxers, exploring. Carefully I grabbed her and pulled her out. I plopped her on the floor and rolled back to look at Ranger some more. He was still smiling. I propped my head on my hand, elbow on the pillow, and laid on my side to watch him. I couldn't get enough of just looking at him. His mouth slowly settled back into a straight line as he slept. I ached to touched him, to reassure myself that he was real, and not a dream. But I didn't dare. He looked so pale, exhausted in the small slivers of light that filtered through the curtain, that I didn't want to disturb him at all. My eyes traced his features, inhaled every line.

Finally I couldn't resist, and I reached out to gently trace a finger down his cheek. He made a noise and rolled towards me, reaching. His hand snagged one arm and he pulled me to him in his sleep, tucking me against his body. I relaxed into him, but couldn't sleep. I wondered what would happen in the morning. I remembered dreaming that he had come in, asking about my FTA. Glad it was resolved. That musn't have been a dream afterall, I thought. Probably he was glad it was resolved so that he could send me packing tomorrow and have his space to himself. I didn't want to have to go live with my parents though, just the thought gave me a full body twitch. I supressed the twitch though - I didn't want to wake Ranger up. He looked so tired. I was fighting back tears, the relief that he was here, and safe, was so great. I moved my arm and placed it over his waist. Breathing him in, I sighed and drifted slowly back to sleep.

I woke up the next morning with Sin curled up beside me. The rest of the bed was empty. Tears filled my eyes. The dream has been so real. My heart twisted and I gulped back a sob. As much as I didn't want to leave the apartment, I really wanted Ranger home, and safe. I scooped Sin up and cuddled her to me. She snuffled into my neck and huffed a sigh. I said a prayer for Ranger, and then swung my legs over the side of the bed to get up. As I did, I heard something move in the other room. I laid back down and held my breath, waiting to hear the noise again. There it was. Footsteps. I listened again. I debated if I should get up, or if I should just stay in bed and hide until after Christmas.

I opted to stay in bed...hiding... I could hear Ranger, I could tell by his footsteps that it was him, moving around and I was pretty sure he was going to tell me to leave. Since I had no where to go that didn't involve sharing a bathroom with my grandmother, I opted to hide under Ranger's blankets. I could hear him talking in the other room, commanding respect already, despite his condition. Then there was silence. I waited a minute. Time wasn't moving fast enough. Part of me wanted to run into the other room and wrap my arms around Ranger and not let go. But I was scared to, and wanted to delay being homeless for as long as possible. I pulled the covers over my head and wondered if there was a way to make myself invisible. I was just about asleep again, when the covers were yanked back and daylight stung my eyes.

"You planning on getting up?"

"Yeah." I mumbled, covering my face with my arm.

"When?"

"Wednesday." Yeah. Two days after Christmas should about do it.

A hand gripped my arm and pulled it away from my face. Damn. Hopefully there are no tear tracks.

"Babe." Ranger said, sitting down beside me. He touched my face, letting his fingers trail down my chin and neck, and then settled his hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Life's peachy. I don't have any psycho's on my trail, and it's christmas, the happiest time of the year. And in only another month, my apartment should almost be liveable again." I tried to flop over and turn away from him, but his hand tightened ever-so-slightly on my arm, preventing the movement.

"What happened to your arm?"

"Broke it. FTA bombed my car."

Ranger lifted that arm and inspected my cast. He looked intently at something on the underside of the cast, and raised an eye brow at me.

"Lula did it all." I told him. I was thankful he seemed to miss the testicles on the underside. He nodded. "Has a nice ring to it." Huh? I didn't get it. I was about to ask him what he meant when Sin chose to barrel out from wherever she was hiding under the covers, and launch herself at my face. Ranger started, then reached out and caught her mid-launch. He held her up to his face, by the scruff of the neck. She hung there happily and batted her paws at his nose. "Babe?" he raised one eyebrow and looked me in the eye. "Who's this?"

I knew he would have seen Sin's stuff outside in the kitchen. Probably he even saw them, and maybe her, last night. I also knew he asked because he wanted to hear it from me. "Sin. She was... a rescue."

"And she's here because..." He set her on the floor and looked at me, waiting for an answer.

"I rescued her."

"Babe." Ranger sighed.

"Well I couldn't let them kill her!"

"You let her sleep in my bed."

"I didn't let her." I grumbled. "I can't lock her out of the room or she keeps me awake. I can't keep her out of the bed if she's in the room."

"Babe." Ranger said. He wore the hint of a smile, so I guess that meant we were ok. For now. At least, he wouldn't throw me out the window over Sin's past occupation of his bed. And then he leaned down, and kissed me. Without thought, my hands came up to frame his face. I kissed him back with all of my heart, letting him feel my relief that he was home, alive, and whole. He shifted, and then settled on top of me, his hand warm on my stomach under my shirt. He skimmed the underside of my breasts and then moved down.

"Hey!" I pushed him away as his hands started to worm their way into my pajama pants. "What're you doing?" I narrowed my eyes.

"You teased." he told me. "Now you pay."

"Nuh uh." I shoved against him, scrambling back in the bed. "No way. I didn't tease. Nope. Not me."

"Babe, I felt you."

"You were asleep!"

"I felt you." He stalked towards me, looking very tired but more than willing to exert what little energy he had at making me scream the hallelujah chorus.

Oh shit. "It really wasn't me." I told him, holding one hand out, as if it would ward him off. I knew better. Nothing kept Ranger off if Ranger wanted to be on.

"Then who was it?" he asked me, grabbing my extended hand and pulling me into him.

"Sin!" I squeaked, struggling against him.

Ranger froze. "What do you mean, Sin?"

"The cat!" I choked on the words.

"I know Sin's the cat. What do you mean it was her?" he asked, pushing me back, his hands on my shoulders, and looking me in the eyes.

"She...um...kind of has this thing with your boxers." I avoided meeting his eyes.

Ranger was silent for a moment. He tipped my face up until he looked me in the eyes. "How, exactly, did the kitten become acquainted with my boxers?"

"She gets into things." I sighed. "A lot of things. Don't ever step in your boots without knowing where she is."

I tried to tip my head away again but Ranger wouldn't let me.

"She's just a kitten! She likes to explore!" I defended her. Ranger just kept looking at me. Amusement flashed briefly in his eye. His hand framing my cheek, he leaned in and brushed his lips against mine.

"What are your plans for the day?" he asked, placing a butterfly kiss by my left ear.

"Mmm..Going to my parents. We're doing Christmas today because Val and Albert and the girls are going to Albert's family's tomorrow."

"Christmas day at Joe's?"

Oh boy. Now I have to tell him... "I went to Joe's last night for supper with him and Elaine."

"Elaine?"

"His girlfriend. Probably his future wife." I shrugged. Ranger's eyes flashed with something I didn't recognize, and then his face was back to being neutral. His watch beeped and he sighed.

"I've gotta get down to the control room." he told me. "Be careful. We'll talk later."

We're going to talk? Oh shit. And what does he mean, he's going to go work. He's exhausted! "You should rest today, Carlos." I told him. His eyes flared again as I used his name.

"I will." he told me. He kissed me soundly, and then headed out the bedroom door. A few seconds later I heard the apartment door click shut. Now I had all day to worry about this talk we were going to have "later." I wondered if I could talk him into clearing an apartment on the fourth floor, or maybe letting me borrow a safe house. I'd do anything to avoid having to share a bathroom with my family. I rolled off the bed padded into the kitchen to feed Sin and Rex. That done, I ducked into the shower.

Ranger hadn't shown up by the time I was done, so I pulled one of his hoodies over my head, checking once again that the sleeves covered the cast, and went to head out. I was halfway out the door with Ranger's keys when I realized that he was home now, and might have something to say about this. I blew out a sigh and eyed the keys. I considered my options. Do I just go? Do I phone and ask? I paced across the apartment as I tried to decide. Finally I pulled my phone out and punched 1. It had been a long time since I used that button, I thought, as Ranger picked up.

"Yo."

"Yo yourself."

"Babe, it's only been...An hour."

"Yeah. I know. And you should be resting. But that's not why I'm calling." There was silence on the other end. I took that to mean that Ranger was waiting for me to continue. "Can I borrow one of the cars?"

"Haven't you been already?"

"Well...Yes. But now.."

"Take one of the Porsches." Ranger's amusement sounded over the phone. I narrowed my eyes.

"Are you laughing at me?"

"Babe. Try not to blow it up." Ranger said. And disconnected, leaving me glaring at the phone. Try not to blow it up, my ass. Just for that, I was taking the Turbo.

I made it to the Burg in good time. I parked the Turbo in the driveway - no way was I risking it getting so much as a scratch - and dragged my bag of gifts in with me. I walked in and hollered a hello to my mom before heading to the living room to leave them all under the tree. I hugged Mary Alice and Angie, kissed my dad on the cheek, and then ducked into the kitchen.

"Hi mom. Val. Grandma. Can I help?" Silently, my mom handed me a bag of potatoes. I wasn't sure I liked the silence. Usually it meant she had something to say but didn't want to ruin everyone's day. I had a feeling it was going to be a very long day.

Mom was silent for quite a while. I was actually halfway done the potatoes when she finally sighed. "Stephanie Plum, do you realize how many phone calls we've gotten in the last week?" She started. "I had to unplug the phone...AGAIN!" So that was why I couldn't get through when I tried to call the other evening... "And would it be so hard to come by and let us know you're ok? We haven't seen you in over a week!"

"You saw me at the store the other day." I pointed out.

"For two minutes. All that does is tell me you're alive. We don't even know how your arm is."

"It's fine, mom."

"It doesn't hurt? Do you need some Advil? Let me get you-"

"It's fine mom. I don't need advil. It hurts a little. Nothing major." At least, when I wasn't hitting it against things by accident.

My mom sighed. "I don't understand why you can't just marry Joe, like you're supposed to. It's time for you to settle down, Stephanie. You can't play at Bounty Hunter Super Woman forever. You need to grow up. Get back together with Joe and work towards the future you're supposed to have. The man loves you, and I know you love him."

And that's the thing of it. Joe does love me, and I do love him. but it's not the marrying kind of love. I just had no idea how to explain that to mom so that she'd get it.

"Why don't you phone Joe and invite him over. It would be a great Christmas if you two got back together."

"I could." I told mom. "But I'd have to invite Elaine too."

"Who's Elaine?" Grandma asked instantly.

"His new girlfriend." I sighed. I guessed it would be ok to say so now, since they were going to Joe's parents tomorrow and all. It had been slowly getting out anyways.

Mom pursed her lips. "New relationship?"

"Almost four months." I shrugged one shoulder.

"Four MONTHS? That can't be possible, we haven't heard a thing." Mom shook her head. Val looked at me with wide eyes.

"That's because they've tried hard to keep it from the burg."

"To keep it from you, you mean." Oh, if only mom knew. I wasn't sure it was a good idea to tell her that I hooked them up.

"I've known from the beginning, mom. Joe and I are friends. Elaine and I are friends. We spend time together. I think she's the one for him." I admitted that much, at least.

Everyone stared at me in silence. I really wanted to turn and run far, far away. I must have made some sort of move that showed that, because Mom stepped in front of the door. "No you don't." Well, not if I wanted Pineapple Upside Down Cake ever again, that's for sure. Mom looked at me a minute longer. "If she marries him, you've lost your last chance at marriage, and happiness. You need to go talk to him, Stephanie. Make him see reason. He's probably only with her because he thinks he's lost you. He's your last hope, Steph."

I turned away and kept peeling potatoes while mom kept on about Joe. The worst part about it all is, I thought, that sometimes I really felt she was right. That Joe was my last hope. My only hope. But that didn't change the fact that we would never have been happy together. We were lucky we'd grown up in time to realize that, and stay friends. I swiped at my eyes with one hand. What WAS it with me and tearing up lately? Geez.

"I'm going to talk to my granddaughter for a minute." Grandma spoke up. She grabbed me by my good arm and started tugging me out of the kitchen. "Alone." she glared at my mom. Grandma pulled me into the living room and stopped in front of the couch. "Sit." She said. I sat.

"So..." I looked at her.

"So. Joe's really shacked up with this Elaine? Huh? And you think they're going to get married?"

"You should keep that quiet, Grandma. They kept things a secret for a reason."

Grandma nodded slowly. "I will. How do you feel about it?"

"Okay." I looked at her, and smiled a very small smile. "I got them together, actually." Grandma grinned at that.

"So what's wrong then?"

"Is mom right? Sometimes I feel like I did screw up my last chance. Not because Joe and I are right for each other as a married couple, but because..." Because there was no one else.

"What about that Ranger fella? Now you can explore things with him."

"He doesn't want a relationship, Grandma. Not a marriage, anyhow." I guess we did have a relationship of sorts. "It would be different with him." If it was anything.

"What's wrong with different?"

"Marriage Grandma, kids. Everyone wants to see me married, with two kids and a house in the burg. And he doesn't want that."

Grandma was silent for a minute. "Sweetie, you're focusing on what everyone else wants for you. But the real question is, what does Stephanie want?"

I blew out a sigh. Ranger. But that would never work. Grandma looked at me and continued. "Maybe you want Ranger, and would be happy with just a relationship and not marriage. Or maybe you want something else. Follow YOUR heart Stephanie, not anyone elses."

I blinked back a fresh set of tears and smiled at her. "Thanks, Grandma." I still don't want to share a bathroom with her, though.

"Remember that." She told me. "Now, let's see that cast." Grandma grabbed my arm and pulled the sweatshirt up.

"Grandma, No!" I tried to pull my arm away but it was too late, Grandma had gotten the sleeve shoved up past the cast.

"Oooh, Pretty." she said, gazing at Lula's artwork. Almost instantly, she zeroed in on my thumb. "Oooooh." Her eyes lit up.

"Grandma? Grandma!" I was starting to panic. Mom could NOT find out about this. "Don't tell anyone, ok? That's a secret."

"Why? I can't wait to tell the girls at the Clip N' Curl. This is genius. Artwork! Lula oughta be paid!" Grandma grinned. I could tell that she thought she had the best news ever. I scrounged through my brain for an idea to bribe her with. I had to keep this quiet.

"Tell you what, Grandma. If you don't tell anyone, and I mean ANYONE, about this... I'll take you for a ridealong on my next apprehension." Well, maybe the next time I had to pick up Mooner. Or someone I knew would be easy and safe. Grandma's eyes lit up. I knew she was thinking that that would be even better news.

"Ok." she agreed.

"Promise?" I asked.

"Promise." She said. She inspected my cast again and wiggled my thumb around. I rolled my eyes. "We better not tell your mom either." No kidding!

"So." Grandma said, and her eyes were lighting up like they did before she said something really, really outrageous. Before she could get her question out, though, Mary Alice came galloping by.

"Can we open presents yet? Horses need presents!"

Mom came out at this point with snack trays - we never ate lunch christmas day, just snacked on meats and cheese and crackers until supper. "Go get your sister." she told Mary Alice. She galloped off as fast as she could, neighing for Angie. In no time we were all settled in the living room and Grandma took the starring role, handing out presents. In no time, everything was unwrapped and the girls were off and playing happily. I packed my stuff into the bags I'd brought gifts in - framed pictures drawn by Mary Alice and Angie - a horse, of course, and a surprisingly good portrait of myself. Angie always has been very artistic, though - that's why I bought her an art kit for christmas. Then there was the cookbook from my mom, I suppose in hopes that I'd become a good burg housewife, but the book itself looked like one that I could actually use, even despite my lack of skill and desire. And, of course, edible underwear from Grandma, along with a beautiful sweater. I knew Grandma was pleased with herself over the underwear, and my mom looked horrified. Of course, mom was equally horrified when Grandma opened the enveloppe I gave her, revealing a gift certificate to Playgirl. What can I say - I knew she'd love it. I set everything by the side of the couch, and sighed as I thought of having to follow everyone to the kitchen.

My dad's hand on my arm stopped me just before the kitchen door. I turned and looked back at him. He handed me a small box. My dad wasn't much for words, so he just smiled at me. I unwrapped it carefully and opened the box. Inside was a beautiful gold pendant - a heart with wings. Tears filled my eyes despite myself, and I looked up at him. "Thanks, daddy." I whispered, and hugged him quickly. Dad nodded, squeezed my shoulders, and went back to the television. I tucked the little box carefully in my pocket and ducked back into the kitchen. I hoped the rest of the day would go easily.

It was late, as I drove back to Ranger's. The street lights blurred slightly through a haze of tears I was trying to keep in. The afternoon had been nice, and Mary Alice and I would start our riding lessons in the new year. She was so excited, she kept galloping in to hug me at random points of the day. Supper was chaotic as usual but without major disaster, and things were pretty well ok until we started cleaning up. Mom got back on the subject of Joe, and wouldn't let up. Grandma leaned in and whispered at me to ignore it, but it was hard. For an hour I heard about how I needed to grow up, get a real job, and marry Joe. I tried to steer her onto another topic, to make her understand that it wasn't what I wanted, but it was no use.

"I don't understand, Stephanie." My mom sighed as we cleaned up in the kitchen. She was washing dishes, I was drying, Grandma was putting everything away, and Val was scraping food into containers. "I really don't understand how you can throw away happiness with Joe. Why can't you just accept that you're meant to be with him and marry him?"

"For the love of God, Ellen." Grandma jumped in, spinning around to glare at her. The knife she was holding flew out of her hand, barely missing Val's head as it flew into the wall behind her. "If you're so in love with Joe, why don't you marry him yourself?"

"He's Stephanie's last hope, mom." And there it was. I was, in my mom's eyes, to hopeless to land anyone other than Joe Morelli. And it hurt, more than I wanted to admit to even myself, that my own mom couldn't accept me, that I was and am a failure in her eyes. I spent the rest of the evening pulled in every direction by every family member. I even rocked Lisa to sleep. And now, finally, I had escaped.

I opened the door very softly, trying not to make too much noise. I was getting weepier by the minute and I didn't want to disturb Ranger. The apartment was dark. I set the keys gently in the dish, and left my bag of stuff in the closet. I tiptoed to the bedroom. Ranger was sprawled over half the bed, sound asleep. Thank goodness. It was hard to see him in the darkness, but he still looked absolutely exhausted. I scrounged around as silently as I could and found my pajamas, then headed to the bathroom to change. Despite my best efforts, a tear slid down my cheek. I was glad that Ranger was home, but really not looking forward to facing him in the morning, to being kicked out. And I knew he valued his privacy to much to let Rex, Sin and me stay with him for a month or more. A couple of days was one thing, but there was no way he'd let us practically move in! I shut the light before opening the bathroom door - the last thing I wanted to do was disturb Ranger - and tiptoed towards the bedroom door, and the couch.

Halfway there I stopped, and turned back. I leaned against the doorframe and just looked at him, drinking in his face, his form. The relief that he was home was overpowering. I moved closer to the bed and stood by it, looking down on him. I didn't know how much time had passed, but I couldn't get past the urge to touch him. I reached out to move the hair that had fallen over his face.

"Babe." Ranger's voice, raspy with sleep, surprised me. "C'mere."

I shook my head. "I'm tired, I'm going to bed." I touched his cheek, and then moved to step away.

"C'mere." he said again, soft but insistent. "Please." He held his arms out to me.

I didn't have the heart not to. He looked so tired, and truth be told, I wanted to be near him. I crawled in, and he immediately wrapped his arms around me and snuggled me into him. "Feels good, Babe." he murmurred, and his breathing evened out into sleep almost immediately, his hand curled around my breast. Sin scrambled up the bed and cuddled against my stomach. I was tired and emotional, and finally gave up fighting tears. Wrapped tightly in Ranger's arms, I cried myself to sleep.

I woke once during the night, as Ranger shifted. He was lying on his back and I was cuddled against him. He'd just moved to dump Sin on the floor, before falling back asleep. I lay against him, enjoying the feel of his body for a bit. I was so happy he was home. I felt the air shift as Sin leapt at him again. He jerked slightly and grabbed her by the scruff of the neck, setting her gently back on the floor again. He was just about asleep when Sin poked at his nose with her paw. He reached out, snagged her, and caught her under his arm. Huh. Lookit that. Sin gets to stay. He sighed as Sin started to wiggle out from under his arm. Once free, she went and curled up by his head. I watched as he opened one eye and looked at her. "Sleep." he said, and closed his eyes. The most shocking thing was, Sin did exactly what he said. Go figure, women of all species succumb to him, I thought as I drifted back to sleep, lulled by Ranger's quiet, even breathing and the steady beat of his heart against my cheek.


	11. Chapter 11

The final Chapter is here. Merry Christmas, Stephanie Plum!

This is also the longest chapter yet. There may be an epilogue, we will see.

My deepest, most heartfelt thanks have to go to Stayce for helping me immeasurably with this one. Thank you, babe. I appreciate it more than I can ever express. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season.

And, as always – I own nothing! Except the plot.

I hope you all enjoy, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and who knows – maybe a valentines day sequel (albeit much shorter than this one!) is in order? Let me know if you think so. J

**Chapter 11**

I came awake slowly, enjoying the steady rise and fall of Ranger's breathing, and the warmth of his body underneath me. Wait. Underneath? Awareness hit me in the face as I realized that I was, once again, sprawled on top of Ranger. My head was tucked on his shoulder, face in his neck, and his arms were steel bands around my back. One hand cupped my butt, while the other was burried in my hair. His head was turned into mine, and I could feel his breath against my ear. Impulsively, I kissed his neck, and his arms tightened around me.

"Babe." he mumurred, rolling us so that I was on my back and he was on top of me. He lifted his head and gazed at me, his eyes still full of sleep.

"Morning." I said. "How do you feel?"

"Tired. Glad to be home." his lips curled up into the barest hint of a smile, before he moved in and kissed me. It was a soft kiss, gentle, his tongue tracing my lips but never going any farther. It felt...emotional. I threaded my fingers through his hair and kissed him back with just as much tenderness. His hand inched under my shirt, and his fingers played along my ribs, tracing them. When he started to tease around one breast, I turned my face away and pushed him back.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Babe." he said, disbelief lacing his voice. Yeah, ok, so it was obvious what he was doing. Still.

"You're too tired." I told him, cupping his cheek. "You need to sleep."

"Not too tired. You changing your mind again?"

"What do you mean, Again?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"The night I came home I woke up thinking maybe you were telling me something, and then you changed your mind. You doing that again?"

"It was the cat!" I hollered at him, and tried to shove him off of me so I could get up.

"Uh huh. Sure. You changing your mind again?" He repeated, his eyes dancing, pressing me into the mattress with the weight of his body. He felt good. Really good. And parts of him felt extremely good.

"You're too tired, Ranger." I told him softly, my hand coming up to caress his cheek again. "You need to rest."

"Babe." he said, and kissed me. This time he slipped his tongue in, dancing with mine. Oh, did I miss his mouth. I couldn't help myself, and I kissed him back, hungry for him. Just as I was completely lost in the kiss, so lost that I would have let him do anything, he broke away and trailed kisses down the left side of my face. He placed a butterfly kiss below my ear, then repeated the kiss on each eye, and below my right ear. "I'm not too tired for this." he whispered into that ear, before coming back to my mouth, and my throat, and my...

He slowly made his way down my body, lingering as he touched and tasted. As he went, my clothes seemed to melt away. He set a lazy pace as he made love to every inch of me, right down to my toes, and then back up to claim my mouth. As he settled over me I had the briefest moment of clarity, realizing we were both naked. I wondered when he'd lost his boxers for a split second, before his tongue slipped into my mouth and I decided it was hardly important.

It was ages later when his hands stilled their explorations, and settled on the pillow, framing my face. He broke the kiss and touched his forehead to mine. "Merry Christmas, Babe." He breathed, as he slid inside me. I tipped my face up to reach his lips as he set a slow, steady pace.

I was completely lost in the feelings Ranger was creating when he suddenly jerked, his eyes widening, his movement forcing him deeper. I gasped. Ranger was still for a minute before he finally untangled one hand from my hair and reached behind him to the small of his back.

"Are you hurt?" I asked. Ranger shook his head slightly, then removed his hand and brought it around in front of our faces. Sin was dangling from his fingers, firmly held by the scruff of the neck. She batted her paws at him, catching a few strands of his hair and pulling them back to her mouth to chew on. "Alright. This time, you DO leave the room." he told Sin, staring her in the eyes. She just kept chewing on his hair. I'm sure she was giving him her "innocent" look. Ranger very slowly pulled back and moved off of me, handing me the cat. I grabbed her and rolled off the bed. I padded to the door and dumped her outside, gently, closing the door behind me. Then, I turned back to the bed.

Ranger was lying in wait, looking everything like a big black panther waiting to go in for the kill. He crooked his finger towards me. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty." he said, flashing me his wolf grin. I grinned back and walked seductively to the bed, teasing him. I'd barely made it to the edge before he pounced, snaking his arm out and hauling me back underneath him in one swift, lethal movement. I hadn't even had time to realize it before his hands were back in position, tangled in my hair and framing my face.

"I love you." he said, so softly it was almost impossible to understand, as he pushed back into me. Sin was crying pitifully outside the door, but two strokes later she was the furthest thing from my mind. As we danced a slow, timeless dance, my last conscious thought was that MY body was a temple, and Ranger was worshipping it.

We lay together in a tangle of arms and legs for a long time afterwards. Ranger's fingers were drifting hypnotically up and down my back. I sighed contentedly, and his arms tightened ever so slightly around me. I tried to figure out what I was feeling but couldn't quite come up with it. Cherished, I think. It felt so good, so right, to be with him like this. His breathing slowed and evened out. Just when I thought he was asleep, he spoke.

"Do you have to leave?" He asked me.

"No, I can stay if you want." I told him.

"I want..." He mumbled, and then he WAS asleep. I drifted off to join him almost instantly.

We woke up again a few hours later, still tangled up together. "Morning." I said on a smile when I felt Ranger's fingers start to play on my back again.

"I think it's afternoon, Babe." he told me.

"Oh." Well, afternoon was fine too. Ranger continued to trace patterns on my back with his fingers, and then he sighed. It sounded like a happy sigh.

"Thank you, babe." he said.

"For?" I asked. In answer, he smiled and his fingers trailed lower, between my legs. "Oh." I whispered. What did that mean? Was I just a convenient body? Did any of this mean anything to him, touch his heart at all? Was it nothing more than sex? Physical release? Was I...

"No, babe, it was a lot more than sex." Ranger told me. He read my mind entirely too easily. "I needed YOU. Wanted YOU." he said forcefully, squeezing me tightly to him, as if he thought I'd untangle myself from him and head for the hills. Truth is, I was thinking about it.

He was silent for a while. I wondered what was going on in his head, in his heart. Finally I shifted and pushed myself up to look at him. The answer was written on his face, his heart had won the war he was fighting with himself. "I love you." he told me again.

"In your own way." I smiled at him. It was ok, I told myself, I could accept his own way.

Ranger tucked my head under his chin, and held me there, enfolded in his arms. "The only way I know how." he said, his voice whisper soft. We lay in silence for a while longer.

Unfortunately, my mind wouldn't stay idle for long. I started to think about living arrangements, and how comfortable it was to be lying in bed with him. Could I get used to this? Oh yeah. Should I? I didn't know. It would be such a letdown when I had to move out and didn't have this luxury anymore. And I didn't mean the apartment, the best luxury was the man. I decided I'd ask over breakfast, or lunch, or whatever it was going to be, but I couldn't stop worrying about it.

"Babe. I smell burning. What's wrong?" Ranger asked. He sounded a bit worried.

"Nothing important."

"Babe."

I sighed. "My apartment won't be ready to live in until at least the end of January, if that."

"And?"

"And...I don't have anywhere to go."

"What do you suggest we do?" He asked.

I was quite for a minute, and then blew out a sigh. Might as well ask and get it over with. "Is there was an apartment on the 4th floor, or a safehouse, Sin, Rex and I could live in until then."

"Nope. Sorry." Ranger said.

"Nope? Oh. Okay." My heart dropped. I guess I'd figure something out. A cardboard box under the Rt. 1 overpass if I needed to. I guessed I should start making arrangements. I fought against the tears burning the back of my eyes. I went to pull away, but Ranger held me to him tightly.

"I like the idea of you having nowhere to go but here." He told me, kissing my hair.

Really? Why couldn't he just say so? "Well I could have gone to Morelli's." I said perversely.

"Why didn't you?"

"He has Elaine. It just seemed like it would be a bit crowded. It was weird enough when I had to shower with Joe." I shrugged.

"What do you mean, shower with him?" Ranger asked, his confusion evident. So I had to explain about chasing Onastic, falling, splitting my skull open. Ranger's fingers instantly travelled to my head and explored the back of it, in my hair. It was still abit tender, and I winced.

"Turn your head, babe." he said. I turned my head and shifted so he could see. He lifted my hair and inspected it, probing gently. "Babe." he said softly. He leaned forward and kissed the scar.

I didn't know what to say, but was saved from answering by my phone. I reached across Ranger and grabbed it. "Merry Christmas, Joe."

"Merry Christmas Cupcake. Heard Ranger made it home."

"Yeah." I smiled, snuggling back down into his shoulder. "He did."

"Having a good Christmas?"

"Yeah. Yesterday was hectic, though. My family knows about Elaine now." I said.

"They giving you a hard time about me?" Joe asked.

"Nothing I can't handle." I told him. "Anxious to go to your mom's?"

Joe laughed. "Ambivalent. Elaine's a nervous wreck though."

"Tell her it'll be fine."

"Will do. Whatcha doing, Cupcake?"

"Just relaxing." I told him. I figured maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to disclose my current state of undress.

"Well, have a good Christmas, Cupcake. I just wanted to phone to say that, and that I am glad Ranger is back."

"Thanks, Joe. Merry Christmas." I said, smiling as I disconnected. I tossed the phone back onto the nightstand and snuggled into Ranger. "Joe says welcome home and Merry Christmas." I told him. I felt him nod, before he kissed the top of my head, and we stayed cuddled together in silence.

"What happened?" I finally asked quietly. "We were really worried when you fell off the map."

"You knew?"

"Yeah. Walked in on the guys worrying."

Ranger was quiet for a long time.

"Can you tell me?" I asked.

"I could, but I don't think I should." he said.

"Howa bout just the bare basics?" I asked. He took a breath and stayed silent. I was just thinking that he wasn't going to answer when he spoke again. "I was found out, and captured. I escaped but they hunted me. I got out, was debriefed, and sent home."

"How did you get away?"

"I don't really know." he admitted. "I was cornered in a cave. And this guy popped in...and...zapped us out." He sounded perplexed, as if he couldn't understand it. I wondered if he was delusional at the time and dreaming. Then I thought of something.

"What did he look like?" I asked.

"Does it matter?"

"Humor me."

"Tall. Muscular. Blonde hair in a ponytail." Ranger iterated.

"Diesel." I mused, then laughed. I untangled myself from Ranger and flopped onto my back on the bed. "Hey Diesel!" I yelled at the ceiling. "Thanks!" Just in case he can hear me, you know.

"Babe?" Ranger asked, rolling on top of me again.

"Long story." I smiled at him, and tugged him to me for a kiss.

Ranger explored my mouth thoroughly before breaking the kiss and smiling regretfully at me. "Can't follow up on this now, babe. You don't want to know what my mother will do to me if I don't make dinner." He rolled off of me and got out of bed. Then he stood there and looked down at me, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. I was doing no better, lying spread eagle on the bed for all the world to see - although only Ranger was in my world so that was ok - and staring at Ranger as if he was the most marvelous creation. Which he was. His body was a work of art, even despite the fact that he was much thinner than before. He definitely needed some feeding up. "C'mon, babe." he told me, grabbing me by the arm and hauling me out of bed. He wrapped and arm around my waist and pulled me to him, kissing me quickly on the lips. "Shower." he said. He didn't let go of of me as he walked to the bathroom.

We showered together, in easy, intimate silence. At one point I couldn't help myself and I slid my arms around his waist, hugging him to me, resting my head on his shoulder. He bent his head until his lips were against my hair, and we stood there for a long while, the warm water cascading down on us. "I'm so glad you're home and safe." I whispered, kissing his shoulder as I stepped away from him. He looked in my eyes and ran a finger across my lips, but didn't say anything. He didn't have to.

We climbed out of the shower and he pulled the plastic bag off my arm before wrapping me in a towel. "What are your plans for today?" He asked, breaking the silence we'd been keeping, as he headed to the closet and began to sift through it.

"None, really." I said. "Grandma is going for dinner with her latest man, Val and Albert are going to Albert's parents...so mom and dad are alone and I thought they'd enjoy time to themselves." Well, it was more like the last thing I wanted to do was set myself up for another lecture about Joe and my life from my mom.

Ranger was quiet for a minute. "Would you like to come with me?" he asked.

"Really? Dinner? Your FAMILY?" I squeaked. Wow. The Man of Mystery offering to take me to dinner with his family.

"Yes, Yes, and Yes." He smiled at me, and I could see the laughter in my eyes.

I looked at him, weighing his words. "What should I wear?" I asked him.

"Clothes would be good." he told me. I whipped my towel off, balled it up, and threw it at him, catching him square in the back. He wheeled around and stared at me. Pretty sure he couldn't believe I did that. To be honest, I couldn't either.

"Male." I said. He laughed. Didn't he realize how close to panic that was? I have to dress. For his family! And I didn't know ahead of time! So I couldn't plan! I dug frantically through his closet. "Jeans and a nice shirt? Or dressier? Slacks and a Blouse? Can I borrow one of your sweaters? Mine don't cover the cast."

"Slacks are good, babe." He told me, and handed me one of his cashmere sweaters.

We were dressed and ready in no time. Ranger sat at the table, going through his mail and drinking a cup of coffee when I finished with my hair and makeup. Sin was attacking his feet. I walked over, placed his gift on the table and leaned down to kiss him - I really couldn't help myself. He was home, he was safe, and he wasn't kicking me out. I never lost the need to be touching him, to be sure that he was real.

"Babe." he said.

"Merry Christmas." I told him. I dumped food in Sin's bowl and refilled her water. Then I gave Rex a handful of hamster pellets and poured myself a cup of coffee. Just as I was putting the coffee pot back, Ranger's arms snaked around my waist.

"Thank you, Steph." he said softly against my ear, kissing it. He turned me in his arms and gave me a quick kiss, before handing me a little box. I opened it carefully. A beautiful gold, diamond, and aquamarine pendant hung inside. It was incredible. My eyes filled with tears as Ranger shifted me, then moved behind me and carefully took it from me. He fastened it around my neck, then turned me around and looked down at it for a long minute. I stepped forward and gave him a quick, tight hug.

"C'mon." Ranger said, setting me away from him. "We'd better get going." He pulled a travel mug down and dumped my coffee into it, then grabbed the keys to the Turbo and tugged me out the door. I guess I was too shellshocked still to move on my own.

"Don't you have any gifts for your family?" I asked as we rode down the elevator.

"Already there." he told me. We didn't speak again until we were on the road.

Ranger was driving in his zone, and I was wondering about his Star Wars persona. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to ask. "Ranger?"

"Babe?"

"Can I see your Darth Vader costume when we get back to the apartment?"

We were stopped at a light, and Ranger turned to give me a blank, questioning look. "What?"

"Well, Tank said you went to the conventions with him, and dressed as Darth Vader." I told him. "Don't want to admit it?" I teased.

"Tank said WHAT?" Ranger asked, disbelief lacing his tone. Uhoh. This might not be good.

"Well...maybe that's not exactly what Tank said." I admitted. "I asked if you went to the conventions with him, and he said you had a thing for black capes."

Ranger looked at me again, his expression clearly saying he thought I'd lost it. I told him about our day with Mooner and Dougie. When I was done, Ranger tipped back his head and, damn the man, roared with laughter.

He slung an arm over my shoulders as we walked up to the front door of his parents house. He knocked once and opened the door, stepping in. Three kids came rushing to the entrance. "Uncle Carlos, Uncle Carlos!" they chanted. Ranger grinned at them and reached out to tousle each of the two boys hair, before leaning down and scooping the little girl up and swinging her onto his shoulders. She giggled all the way up.

"Listen, you little rug-rats. Leave your uncle get into the door." A woman's voice spoke from around the corner. A tall, pretty woman who looked like she could be a model came into sight. She smiled at Ranger and wrapped him in a hug.

"Celia." He hugged her back. She stepped back and looked at the two of us.

"Carlos." She glared at him. "You've been keeping secrets." No news there, I thought. Ranger was the mastermind behind secrets. "Who is this? You never said you were bringing anyone. Mama!" She yelled towards the inside of the house. "Carlos brought a guest!" She turned back to us and held her hand out to me. "Hi. I'm Celia."

"Celia, this is Stephanie." Ranger spoke before I could. "Babe, my sister Celia."

"Babe?" Celia's eyes widened and she stuck her head around the corner to yell again. "Mama! Carlos brought his Girlfriend." Then, she rounded on Ranger and smacked him upside the head. "You have a girlfriend?! What the hell else haven't you been telling us?" She demanded, before plucking her child off of his shoulders and heading into the rest of the house.

"You'd think we were in High School." Ranger shook his head. "C'mon babe. They won't bite." He placed his hand at the small of my back and guided me inside. We stepped into a hall and turned left and there was the living room, filled with people. People shifted to make space on the couch for us, but it was barely enough for a person and a half. Ranger sat me down in the corner and squished in beside me as his mother came out of a room off to the side. As the door swung closed behind her it offered a brief glimpse of a stove. Guess that's the kitchen.

"Carlito. Finally you come." She said, coming to stand in front of us. Ranger stood, tugging me to my feet with him.

"Merry Christmas, Mama." he said, and hugged her.

"Merry Christmas, Carlos. I am glad you are home." She told him, then drew back to look at him. Her eyes narrowed. "You are too thin. You look tired." Ranger's face took on the blank expression that I've noticed he uses when he doesn't want to discuss something. She pursed her lips at him for a minute before kissing him on the cheek and turning towards me. "You are the girlfriend, Si?"

"Uh..." I tried to think quickly but couldn't think of anything to say.

"He is too thin. He looks tired. You make sure he eats and sleeps. Not works all the time. My Carlos, he works too much."

"He does." I agreed.

"Babe." Ranger said, shaking his head.

"She is your babe? She your girlfriend." His mom looked back to him. "About time you find yourself a nice young lady to settle down with."

Ranger was tense beside me, as if he wanted to escape. I slipped my hand into his and squeezed. I'm sure, if he were capable of it, he would be blushing. "We haven't put a name on our relationship." Ranger said. His mother narrowed her eyes.

"We're co-workers." I offered softly. Ranger looked at me.

"We're more than co-workers babe." Omigod. I can't believe he said that in front of his mother. It was my turn to want to sink into the floor and disappear. He squeezed my hand, anchoring me to him before I could bolt.

"Everybody!" Ranger's mother spoke up. The room had been quiet before, observing the conversation, but now you could have heard fuzz hit the ground, it was so silent. "This is Stephanie, Carlos' girlfriend." She then made the rounds, introducing me to everyone. All of the names mushed together in my head and while I could identify who his sisters were, who his brother was, the only one whose name I could remember and place with a face was Celia. Ranger sat on the couch again, pulling me down with him. He slung his arm over my shoulders to keep me beside him and I relaxed, letting the noise and activity wash over me. I was dazed.

Ranger's Grandma Rosa came over and took both my hands in hers, speaking rapidly in Spanish. Ranger leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"She says she is pleased to meet you and she wishes us many years and many children. Just smile, nod, and say Gracias." So I did. Ohboy. Now it sounded like we were married! Ranger squeezed my shoulder and kissed me below my ear. His fingers gently massaged my shoulders, a silent message to relax. Suddenly Celia's three kids, and a whole pile more came running over.

"Uncle Carlos! Wanna watch Ice Age 2 with us!"

"In the other room!" Celia hollered. "Get! And leave your uncle Carlos alone. He doesn't watch cartoons."

"Maybe we should." he turned his head and whispered against my ear.

"You're going to watch a kids show?" I rolled my eyes. I just couldn't see it of him.

"Today I am." he told me, and pulled me to my feet. "Lead the way." he told the kids. Chattering happily they grabbed our hands and hauled us into the other room. Four of them camped on the couch, leaving space for us in the middle. "Ok, Ankle biters," he said, "Couch is mine today - all of you out."

The kids groaned and moaned, but they vacated the couch. One of the older boys put the movie in and obviously was well-versed in working the DVD player. Ranger stretched out and held his arms out, an invitation for me to lie down beside him. I did, and he enfolded me in his arms in such a way that I could pillow my head in the crook of his elbow, and his other hand was warm against my stomach. By the time the opening credits were done his breathing had softened and I'm pretty sure he was almost asleep. I settled into watch the movie, dozing on and off, enjoying the humorous parts of the movie along with the kids. At one point, his fingers started to tease circles on my stomach, then they wormed their way under the sweater to play against my skin. I swatted at his hand.

"The kids." I hissed.

"Not paying attention." he whispered back. I could feel his smile against my hair.

"I don't care! Remove the hand!" He did, but continued to trace circles over my stomach, just on top of the shirt. The squirrel with the acorn came back onto the screen. We watched it fumble around, lose it's acorn again, and cause another hole in the ice wall. "The gene pool should have eliminated him the first time around." Ranger said, his tone dry.

"As in in the first movie?"

"Yeah. Would have done him and the rest of the world a favor."

"You've seen the first movie?"

"Pieces. Worked on the laptop while the kids watched it."

"Be QUIET Uncle Carlos." One of the kids hissed. I giggled silently and Ranger poked my in the belly button. His breathing slowed again and this time, I fell asleep with him.

"What is it, Maria?" I woke to hear Ranger's voice ask.

"Suppertime, Carlos." his sister answered. I vaguely remembered Maria as being the youngest.

"Babe, wake up." he squeezed me.

"Ima wake." I mumbled. Ranger sat me up and stood with me. I swayed for a minute and then shook my head to clear it.

"Come eat." he said, leading me to the table, his hand once again at the small of my back. I looked over at him, he still looked exhausted. Supper passed in a haze of noise and confusion. It was a lot like dinner at my parents, but the disasters were much more...normal. I zoned out and passed supper in a daze, although I do remember a conversation with Celia during which she insisted we go shopping some day. I agreed - who wouldn't agree to go shopping? I felt Ranger cringe beside me, though. I don't think he much liked the idea of me getting together with his sister.

"Babe." he rolled his eyes. "She'll corrupt you."

"She's corrupt me, or she'll embarass you?" I asked coyly. Ranger just shook his head. He'd done a lot of that lately.

Everyone gathered around their tree for gifts afterwards. I sat on the couch and watched Ranger carefully as he started to doze on my shoulder. I noticed his mom watching us with a look of approval on her face. I was starting to feel really protective of him, worrying about how exhausted and thin he was. We took our leave shortly afterwards. Ranger's mother hugged both of us, as did Celia. Everyone hugged both of us. And his brother kissed me full on the lips. Ranger's eyes went dark, and his brother laughed, slapped him on the back, and wished him a Merry Christmas. We walked out to the Porsche in silence, and I held my hand out for the keys.

"Babe." He shook his head. "I drive."

"Nuh uh. You're exhausted. It's safer if I drive." I leaned against the drivers side door. Short of physically moving me, he wasn't getting into the drivers seat. He looked at me for a long minute, as if he was thinking about arguing the point, then handed the keys over. "If I wasn't so tired there's no way you'd win this." he told me.

"I know." I said softly. This wasn't a victory, this was...trying to help Ranger as best I knew how. And it was the right choice, too. I had barely pulled away from the curb before he was asleep.

We got back to Rangeman and headed up to the apartment in silence. I fed Sin and gave Rex a grape, and joined Ranger in the bedroom.

"Your phone hasn't rung all day." I commented.

"Tank's still in charge. I need a few days before I'll be any use to the company." Ranger shrugged. I knew he couldn't like that fact, but was glad he was at least admitting it. I dug around for my pajamas, but couldn't find them.

"Don't bother, babe. Less for me to take off later."

"You're EXHAUSTED, Ranger. There is no later." I glared.

"Babe." he shook his head slightly, smiling, before wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing the tip of my nose. "Just get undressed and get into bed."

I did, and then I stretched, enjoying the feel of his sheets against my skin. I knew I'd enjoy the feel of him a lot more. Ranger was rooting around in the closet. He opened a drawer and looked puzzled for a minute. He pulled something out and grinned.

"Babe? Something you want to tell me?" He asked. I rolled over in the bed to squint at him, and saw that he was holding up my Christmas panties, looking at them with interest.

"Gag gift from Tank." I mumbled. How embarassing! Ranger looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Tank?" He asked. "Do I need to be concerned?"

"He thought you'd appreciate them."

Ranger nodded, and looked at the panties thoughtfully. "He thought right." He said. He looked at me and a smile started to play at the corners of his mouth.

Uh oh. "I'm in trouble, aren't I?" I asked warily. I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer.

"Big time." Ranger nodded, very slowly. He stalked over to the bed and, naked as the day he was born, crawled in and leaned over me, panties still in his hand. "I see a lot of possibilities for that pom pom."

Oh boy!

_The End. Merry Christmas, Everyone! Possible Epilogue to come._


	12. Epilogue

I have to say, I am going to miss this story. Here is the final installment – the epilogue.

As always, I own nadda. But I want ranger. Still working on that bat-napping technique.

**Epilogue – End of January**

It was lose-the-cast day as I had come to term it. I flounced into the control room and sashayed in front of Ranger. He shook his head at me and continued to talk with Tank for a minute, before stepped beside me.

"Ready to go, babe?"

"Oh yeah." I told him. He had decided to come with me to the hospital - he wanted to check on Hal, who had gotten shot on a stakeout the night before. We headed down to parking in silence, and Ranger held out his hands for my keys. I raised an eyebrow at him. He wanted to take my car?

"I like seeing you in it." He told me. On December 30th, Ranger had taken me car shopping. Another Christmas gift, he claimed. I, of course, looked at the cheapest cars on the lots. Ranger looked at the most expensive. He hauled me to a Porsche dealer. I loved his Turbo, and the carrera, AND the boxster he had once given me, but refused to so much as get out of the car at that place. I was pretty sure I amused him, but really, the last thing he needed to do was spend that kind of money on something I was just going to destroy!

Finally, he half-picked for me. We were at a Ford dealer and when I thought he wasn't paying attention, I let my eyes linger very briefly on a bright red Mustang convertible. Apparently Batman has eyes on the back of his head, though, because the next morning that very car was sitting in the parking garage at Rangeman. It was definitely my kind of car. And it wasn't black! Ranger's reasoning behind that concession had been that the red suited me. Hm..Bet that was the only non-black vehicle he ever bought.

And now, if I was with him, he liked to drive it. I couldn't wait for summer so I could put the top down and stick a pair of sunglasses on and feel the wind in my hair while I drove down hamilton. Of course, that is, if I still had the car. With my luck...well...I really tried not to think about that.

We climbed into the car and Ranger turned the engine over. It purred like Sin when she was on Ranger's chest. Cat and Man had forged quite a relationship, with Ranger trying NOT to like Sin, and Sin adoring him. She even slept in the bed with us, and she was slowly getting better about curling up and SLEEPING, instead of playing.

I glanced at Ranger as he drove, silent and in his zone. He looked good in my car too. He was looking better overall, lately. It had been over a month, and he was still recovering, slowly but surely. We spent three days after Christmas largely in bed - he seemed to sleep better if I was there. Not that he ever said anything, but I noticed a difference in how rested he was. Ella brought food, and we ate and slept and...well...no matter how exhausted he was, he still seemed to find the energy to kick Sin out and love me thoroughly. And then we'd sleep some more. On the 29th of december he started working half-days again, and then full days a week later, although he was definitely still not up to full form.

I startled out of my thoughts as Ranger slipped his hand in mine and brought my fingers to his lips. "We're here, babe."

"I need to be more aware of my surroundings, I know." I sighed. He squeezed my fingers before letting go. We headed into the hospital in comfortable silence. Ranger headed off to go see about Hal, and I went to check in for cast removal. Thank God. I couldn't wait to be rid of the thing.

I could hardly contain myself as the doctor cut through the cast. He cracked it off and checked my wrist over. He handed me the cast. I looked at Lula's artwork, turning it over in my hands. The testicles really didn't look like testicles, without my thumb to embellish them. Thank god for that. Ranger, whose awareness was a bit relaxed when he first got home, had finally noticed them a couple of days after Christmas, when he started to really wonder why I insisted on keeping it hidden from the rest of the world all the time. All he said was "Babe."

I sat in the little room, continuing to check out the cast, all the way up the arm, at all angles. A piece of writing I hadn't noticed before caught my eye.

At the top of the cast, in an area that would have been impossible for me to see while I was wearing it, Lula had written _Stephanie Manoso_ in big, fancy letters. My mind flashed back to Christmas eve, when I was lying in bed and Ranger was inspecting my cast for the first time.

"_Has a nice ring to it."_ He had said. My mind flashed again to the first time he had walked into the Bonds office after returning. He had raised one eyebrow at Lula, and she had stammered an excuse and beat a hasty retreat. In fact, every time he came around, Lula disappeared as fast as her FMP's could carry her. No wonder. And..Omigod. Ranger thought it had a nice ring to it. What did that mean? He didn't want to give me a ring, surely. I didn't think I wanted a ring! Not yet! We weren't even...anything. Our relationship didn't have a name! It might not even be a relationship! I dropped the cast onto the bed beside me, and burried my head in my hands, elbows on my knees. Ranger had SEEN that. Omigod. He must... Ranger thinks...Ranger must have thought...There was no way I would be able to face him now! How was I supposed to -

"Babe. That upset about losing the piece of plaster?" Ranger's voice asked, amusement filling his tone.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him. Without raising my head, I shook it. "No." I mumbled. I felt him as he stepped next to me, his hand brushing my thigh as he picked up the cast. The bed felt empty where the cast had been lying, but then Ranger sat down beside me, hip against hip, and slung an arm over my shoulders.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I didn't answer. After a minute he removed his arm and grasped my wrists, pulling my hands away from my face. He felt along the arm I broke, gently probing and exploring, before taking my two hands in both of his, so I couldn't put them back. I still couldn't look at him though. I tilted my head to the side and looked at the floor. "Babe?" he finally questioned, his voice soft.

I wasn't getting out of here until I answered him, I knew it. I took a breath. "Lula wrote..." I couldn't bring myself to say it. "You said it had a nice ring to it. You meant...That. Didn't you?"

"What's "that", babe?" he asked. I opened my mouth, and closed it again. "Steph?" he squeezed my hands.

"Yeah. Steph. Anie. With your. Last. Name." I stammered. Ranger chuckled beside me. "It's not FUNNY." I grumbled, wishing I had had a free hand to hit him with.

"It does have a nice ring to it. And maybe someday..." he said, and then started to shake with silent laughter. "It bother you that much, babe?" Someday? Someday what? Someday I'd be Stephanie Manoso? What was I in the meantime? Did i want to be Stephanie Manoso? Did he want me to be? What was he saying. Of course it bothered me! And he thought this was funny???? My heart was starting to race.

"Babe." He said again, and let go of one of my hands to frame my chin, tipping my head so that he could look at me. I tried to avert my eyes but he wouldn't let me. He looked into my eyes, his own revealing amusement and tenderness. It was rare to see him so unguarded, at least, since he had gotten over the worst of the exhaustion. "I like how it sounds. It's not a big deal. Don't over-think it." He kissed me gently, making my mind blank out completely, then tugged me to my feet. "Come on. The paperwork is done. We need to get back."

"Important meeting?" I asked, as he slung an arm over my shoulder and walked me out of the exam room and down the hall.

"Meeting for 2 at the apartment. Your presence is required." He told me.

"Does this have to do with the pom pom again?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. He had gotten very creative with that one.

"No...I think I've exhausted the possibilities." He told me on a chuckle. Whew.

"Gee, on a downhill slide, aren't we." I scoffed at him. I had intended it to be an insult, to get him back for thinking my reaction to those..words..on the cast..was funny. Unfortunately, by the way he ran a hand over my ass, I'm pretty sure he took it as a challenge.

"Babe."


End file.
